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Too much complaining and venting in any relationship can sever ties. No one likes a kill-joy, an Eeyore personality, a whiner. That's not to say keeping all your frustrations to yourself is a good thing, either. There should be a healthy balance between venting and lending a listening ear to someone else's plights. It also means spending time talking with those same people you vent to about other things. No one has a life solely filled with pain! Celebrate the good times!

I know there are times when my husband complains about work, but I tend to have more issues to talk about with work and my relationships with friends and family members. He listens without trying to solve my problem until I ask for help. But let's face it: having a conversation can be draining, whether it's positive or negative. Spending time alone to hear your thoughts is a great way to get a handle on what plagues you. To make it less stressful on my husband and I, particularly if he is on brain overload from his day, I like to enter my thoughts in a journal. Writing about my issues is cathartic, because I can say what I want without the danger of being judged. And when I'm done, I can throw it away without a care, then move on to other things.

I know there have been darker times in my life where I've vented a bit too much with other people, my husband included. In hindsight, I am embarrassed, because I didn't mean to make it seem like I don't have a handle on my life. I do, and I'm a Christian, to boot. Which means I have eternal hope in things working out for the best, whatever the situation. It's just that being human, I can only take so much before I snap under pressure and start doubting myself. That's when I'm in danger of seeming like I am a mess. What makes it worse are my OCD tendencies, causing anxieties and the fear of "what ifs". I know that drives my husband insane, because it is too speculative for his taste. He is a "fact-and-reason" man, who thinks logically on all matters. If only I could be so lucky!

There have been different people in my life at various times who wore me out with their own tales of woe. I still keep in touch with them, but am often hesitant to ask how they are doing, for fear they will unload on me, or try to bring my good mood down by offering pessimistic sentiments. I do try to be as tolerant as I can, though, because when someone is venting to you, he or she isn't aware of the other person's feelings, and isn't looking for a lecture or for you to dismiss his or her views. Anything that I say or do to downplay the issue then comes across as being trite or insincere. So the only things I can do are to listen and limit my time. Then I pray for that person in private time with God, and surround myself with positive-thinking people and activities, so that I don't get dragged down.

Learn more about this author, Natasha L. Kohlhoff Polak.
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