by Maggie West

Created on: November 11, 2008

I'm no saint.

I have caused my share of heartaches. And the winds of despair have blown my life to pieces a time or two as well. I'd like to think I'm the better for it. I'd like to think that reparations were made in how I have lived my life in the aftermath of these unfavorable behaviors: How I act now and my state of mind. For I have become the product of these trials and tribulations.

Perhaps, certain topics are vexing due to this "ancient history" of mine. It is difficult to remain dispassionate with some subjects. Case in point: Cheating.

Cheating is a deliberate act. No one forces the hand of the perpetrator. It is cruel and harmful to oneself and others, unnecessary, and an intentional act.

Let me further convey my feelings in two parts: Boyfriend/girlfriend relationships and marriage. With regard to cheating, both may seem similar, but they are not the same.

When dating, one may wish to take the relationship to another level; a pledge of love, or even an engagement. If the promise leads to the latter, this means two people plan to marry right?

As a result, by taking this pledge these marriage vows a commitment is made.

Humbly, I insert a few reminders:

Commitment: The act of committing; a giving in charge, or entrusting. Something pledged: The state of being bound emotionally or intellectually to some course of action.

Marriage: To enter into a close relationship; unite.

Unite, what a great word. What a great way of describing the frame of mind one should have as he/she stands before the altar of love. There is no mistaking its meaning.

Unite: To bring together so as to form a whole.

Hence, if one desires a life of promiscuity, why commit? If monogamy, as understood and practiced by both parties isn't part of a serious relationship, why say, "yes" to:

"Do you want to just date each other?"

"Will you move in with me?"

"Will you marry me?"

Why not just say "no" or "I need a little more time?"

Surely, one knows that these questions contain an unspoken implication. In accepting these proposals one infers that:

You want to be with me only me; no one else.

You must love me as much as I love you.

Assuredly, one does not expect the other's thoughts to include:

Okay, for now.

I will, but only until something better comes along.

Fine, but I need more than one partner to satisfy me.

Building a life with another person is not easy. One is thrust into the arms of a co-inhabitant relationship with someone who has little knowledge of one's idiosyncrasies, childhood scars, the wounds of

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