by Victoria Tiegert

Created on: November 11, 2008

When I became a single woman for the second time, I got the greatest opportunity. Because I opted to go online and find my future mate through Match.com, an internet dating site, I was required to list what I was looking for in a man. I discovered, through the questionnaire they had me fill out, that there were many qualities I wanted yet had never insisted on waiting to find prior to this.

I had settled twice before on accepting men that weren't what I was really looking for, but at least provided companionship. I had also found myself alone again after a few years each time that I did this. I knew one thing for certain, I did not want another divorce to endure and would patiently wait for the man that suited me this time. The folllowing are the things that I discovered were truly important to me.

*Security and stability-Starting over financially is okay at twenty, but after thirty, I expect a man who is in a position of financial stability. I am not insistent on extreme wealth, but enough to pay the bills every month without having to shuffle things around and stress about them is a must. The fact is, the majority of marital trouble can be found rooted in money problems. Extending beyond finances, I need a man who is secure in himself. A new marriage combined with a midlife crisis is never a good time.

*Intelligent and a sense of humor-A man who is able to make me laugh, but not with crude or ignorant sounding jokes that degrade others is a gem indeed. I want to be able to carry on an intelligent conversation and communicate in complete playful jest at others. Intelligence will also benefit the way that he lives as day to day decisions are made that affect the marriage and family as a whole.

*Loving and understanding-A man that is sharing my life must be understanding when he relates to what I am experiencing and accepting that my feelings are mine and therefore are all right when he doesn't. He must love me for me, as I will love him for him. I do not need Romeo, but a bit of romance here and there is essential to keeping the spark alive.

*Responsible and hard-working-Whether at home or on the job, I want a man who is willing to work hard when appropriate. I don't want my kitchen sink to drip for months while he lounges around with a beer and a bag of chips instead of fixing it. I also don't want a man who will have a poor work ethic that causes the constant changing of jobs, whether by quitting or being fired.

*Honest and trustworthy-I want a man to be honest

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