by Ed Dugan

Created on: November 11, 2008   Last Updated: December 08, 2008

No matter how harmless conversations between office mates may seem to you, discussing where the latest sales are or a recipe you just came across, for instance, there is always the chance that a harmless conversation can lead you to open your mouth and insert your foot. The old caveat for around the dinner table, to avoid politics and religion, is a good one but office gossip traps aren't that easy to recognize and you have to be constantly on your guard.

Office gossip can create an extremely negative atmosphere around the workplace and the newer you are to the job the more likely it is to affect you. Every office contains at least one person, perhaps more, that zoom in on new employees to give them their version of how things are run around the place. So, if you are the new kid on the block, your best defense is to listen, nod your head and make absolutely no comment other then "thank you for the information".

When you find yourself in a group situation, at lunch, for instance, the best advice is to listen but never, never respond if the conversation is about someone not present. Of course, if you are planning a surprise party for an office mate, or anything else on a strictly positive note, of course you should participate. If you have worked in the office very long you should have identified those people who are prone to gossip. Put them on your "caution" list and avoid any but totally innocous converstions with them.

Sometimes saying nothing can get you in trouble as well. If someone makes an extremely negative statement about another person in the office and you say nothing, often the person making that statement will take your silence as an agreement with their point of view. To diffuse the situation simply say "I really don't think I know them well enough to make that kind of judgment" or something to that effect. As soon as you say that, find an excuse to get away. Staying there will only encourage the other person.

The most dangerous office gossip situation involves talking about those people in higher positions. You don't have to love your boss, or even like him or her, but you can resolve to stay absolutely neutral where they are concerned and simply focus on doing your job. Many office situations have an upside and a downside but talking about your boss, even in a nice way, has only a downside. If your comments get back to your boss, or even the fact that you were a member of the group that voiced those comments, you can hurt yourself. You can be fired

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