BEHAVIOR MODIFICATION FOR CHILDREN AND TEENS: TIPS ON ENCOURAGING NEW AND DESIRED BEHAVIOR
Behavior modification in children is a process. It will take time and patience for you to guide your child into developing a new behavioral habit, especially if the desired new behavior is meant to replace an already existing behavioral problem. But with patience and determination, you can teach your child to behave in a new way. Here are a few tips to help you in your journey to encourage your child to adopt the behavioral patterns you wish for them to acquire.
BEHAVIOR MODIFICATION TIP # 1: ASK FOR WHAT YOU WANT
The first step in encouraging behavior modification in your child is to ask for it. Tell your child how you want him to behave, and give the reason why you want it. This may sound really simplistic, but keep in mind that not many people are able to get what they want without asking for it. Children (yes, even teenagers) want to please their parents, and have their parents pleased with them. (Teens may never admit this, but it is true.) By voicing what behavior you want, you are letting your child know how to please you. This may be enough for a younger child, but older children, teens especially, need to be given a valid reason for the desired change – “because I said so” generally doesn’t work as well as “because when you lie, I can’t trust you, and that is not the relationship I want for us to have”.
BEHAVIOR MODIFICATION TIP # 2: BE A ROLE MODEL
Perhaps the most important part of encouraging behavior modification is to model the desired behavior yourself. You can’t expect a child – especially a teen – to behave in a certain way if the parent refuses to behave in the same manner. Children need to be shown, not just told, how to behave. If you want your children to watch less T.V. and read more, then you need to do that yourself. If you don’t want your children to lose their temper and yell, then you need to stop yelling. If you don’t want your children to lie, don’t let them catch you lying. Children react strongly to hypocrisy; teens especially don’t respond favorably to “do as I say, not as I do”. Don’t get discouraged if you slip up. Simply admit that you made a mistake and that you are still trying to correct your own behavior. It’s good for your children to see that you are human, and that the process of changing a behavior is just as difficult for you as it is for them.
BEHAVIOR MODIFICATION TIP # 3: IGNORE OR PUNISH BAD BEHAVIOR
In young children, ignoring bad behavior is one of the easiest ways to modify a child’s behavior. Children want attention; if their bad behavior isn’t getting them the attention they crave, they generally will switch to something else. In older children, bad behavior may warrant a punishment. Be sure the punishment is appropriate; an overly harsh punishment can obstruct your child’s progress. Whenever possible, have the punishment relate to the behavior modification you are trying to encourage.
BEHAVIOR MODIFICATION TIP # 4: PRAISE GOOD BEHAVIOR
Finally, make sure you acknowledge when your child exhibits the desired behavior. Kids may give up if their efforts go unnoticed. Children want your attention – if they aren’t receiving positive reinforcement for their good behavior, they will settle for the negative attention they are sure to get when their behavior is the opposite of what you want.