by Jillian Card

Created on: November 11, 2008   Last Updated: December 12, 2008

When I was a child, I saw my mother abused day in and day out. It was awful to see my mother being hurt that badly by someone who claimed to have loved her. Now that I am older, I understand what she went through better than I did as a child.

I didn't understand what was going on, I just knew that Daddy was hurting Mommy, and for a long time I thought that it was normal. I have asked my mom why she stayed with him for so long and she told me that it was because she thought things were going to get better.

He would call and tell her that he was sorry and everything would be alright for a day or two, but it always came back to him hitting her. I remember the one time that he choked her till she passed out on the floor right next to me. I have never been so scared in my whole life; I thought she was dead. I did the only thing that I knew; I ran to the neighbor's house and told them what was going on.

Another time he came home drunk and caught the couch on fire and would not let me out of the house. Still to this day I am afraid of fire and can smell that couch burning. My mom did the best she could for us. We didn't have the perfect life, but we did have a great mom that always tooK care of us no matter what.

I believe that she took many beatings for us. My father has since been beaten to death by a guy that he worked for, and i still love and miss him; but nothing will ever take away the memories of what he did to my mom. Finally, after eleven years of hell, she left him but only to go into another abusive relationship. This man didn't hit her, but he verbally abused her. He would call her a "slut" and "whore", and say that her kids were no good pieces of crap.

She left him eventually too, but only to get into one more abusive relationship. This one did a little of both to her. By this time, I was grown and out of the house, but she would try to hide what was going on in the home. I would call to come over to visit and she would say, "Not today; I ain't feeling well."

I knew what was going on after years of seeing her tell other people the same thing and pretending that everything was OK I knew it wasn't. So I would go over anyway, and her face would be black and blue. The one time that Ii went there, he had knocked out her front tooth. I had finally had enough of seeing her get hurt and not being able to do anything for her, so I stood up to him and he went to hit me.

After years of seeing it all, I saw was my father's face, and I went nuts. I just came unglued, and started hitting him and hitting him. All I remember after that is my mom pulling me off of him. My mom left that day and never looked back. She is now with a guy that treats her the way she should be treated. And I couldn't be happier for her; she is my everything and just like she protected me all those years ago, I will protect her. Abuse doesn't just affect the ones that are being abused, but also the ones that are closest to you. I made a promise to myself a long time ago that I would never let a man abuse me. And I never will.

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