Should cell phones be banned in restaurants?
The rules pertaining to the meal table have relaxed since I was a child. In the good old days, before daytime TV and piped music, there were certain things that simply were not done at the meal table. These included singing, chewing with your mouth open, putting elbows on the table, reaching across for the salt and having the television on. There were reasons for these "laws". Some were there for health and safety reasons and others simply to make meal times peaceful and genteel to aid the digestion. Nowadays, most meals do not even get eaten at a table. Some are straight out of the cardboard box they were delivered in. Going out for a meal, therefore, becomes an occasion where one can sit and eat in safety, knowing that some of the old rules are still adhered to and it is all the more special for that.
Cell phones are dreadful in any public situation. In a restaurant they are a complete social faux pas. They erupt suddenly and sometimes embarrassingly loudly from the depths of handbags and jacket pockets and their flummoxed owners have to have a red-faced rummage followed by a frantic fumble to press the right button. The ring tones are jangly jingles which might sound cool in the office but not in the Ritz. Most recent phone are equipped with the facility to reproduce the sound quality of the New York Pilharmonic Orchestra. The opening bars of Beethoven's Fifth can have a devestating effect on a laden spoonful of soup destined for the mouth over a white table cloth.
Next comes the opportunity to evesdrop on half of a conversation. The receiver of the call, once over the initial embarrassment, begins to have an expression of self satisfied smugness. "See, I am loved and important" he smirks, after offering a false apology"Excuse me, I must just take this". " Hi, mate! I am just out for dinner at Le Blancs " [like- how cool, sophisticated and popular am I!] and if the other diners are fortunate he will then make an arrangement to call back. Often, sadly not and not only his companions but those at neighbouring tables are treated to five minutes of a disjointed conversation about an obscure business deal or broken love affair or worse still, making an arrangement to meet at the pub tomorrow.
How do other diners deal with this intrusion into their table talk? If you know the person it is tempting to lean close and say " Who is it? What does she want" and get filled in with the details. Doing that can help end the conversation quite quickly. Others are left wondering whether to wait silently until the call is over and they can resume the conversation they were having, or to carry on regardless and politely ignore the telephone call. Though of course they are thinking "How rude!" as is everyone in the entire restaurant.
The polite thing to do if your cell phone goes off at the meal table, restaurant or not, is to hastily turn it off and smile sweetly at your companions. After all, missed calls are logged so you can call back. Next best is to offer an apology and discreetly leave the table to take the call but it is amazing how many people do not do that.
Back in the good old days [again] , if a phone call was neccessary, which it usually wasn't unless you were REALLY important, a waiter would whisper in your ear and lead you the telephone. If you were really REALLY important, he would bring you the device on a silver platter, elegantly. There was one telephone which rang somewhere else and only in exceptional circumstances.
Unless it is a business lunch, most people dine out to relax and forget about the pressures of work and parenthood. They choose their companions carefully and wish to make them feel special. Nothing can make a guest feel less special than being discarded, mid sentence, in favour of a text message or phone call. No-one wants to be reminded of office politics or stock market plunges whilst dealing with a lobster or artichoke and very few people care to listen to half the gory detals of an imminent divorce over a moist slab of chocolate fudge cake.
Telephone contact in a restaurant is a good thing especially for parents and their abandoned offspring. It might be neccessary for an executive at a business meal waiting to clinch a deal. There is no reason, though, why a person cannot leave the table and go into the lobby to make or take such calls or use the restaurant telephone in a real emergency.
Cell phones are a great communication bonus. That does not mean every public place is suitable to have as an extension of the office. Used with discrimination, moblies make life a great deal easier and safer for users. Just as in the days of "elbows off the table" there do need to be some clear social ettiquette as to when and where it is appropriate to receive and make calls. Inflicting a ghastly ring tone followed by a private conversation on other people enjoying social intercourse and a fine meal is clearly a "no, no" for anyone with any sense of social grace. Ban them!
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