by Sarah V Reid

Created on: November 10, 2008   Last Updated: November 13, 2008

The holiday season can be a time of immense pressure for many people.

Images in films and television shows make us feel inadequate if we are unable to recreate their picture-perfect version of the holidays. Magazines are full of articles showing us how to make our own decorations, prepare a feast fit for a king, spruce up the house and make ourselves look pristine and pampered.

Consequently, we beat ourselves up for using store bought decorations, for forgetting a vital element of the Thanksgiving dinner, for not having had time to clean the bathroom before guests arrive or for barely having had time to drag a comb through our hair, never mind put on full make-up.

The inevitable family squabbles, arising when tiredness causes tempers to fray and politeness to be set aside, can make the entire day feel like a failure.

Instead of trying to live up to these unattainable ideals, we should reclaim the holidays for ourselves.

Sure, you might forget to pick up the cranberry from the store, but that doesn't mean you should cancel Thanksgiving. So what if the towels in the guest bathroom don't match? Your guests came to visit you, not to inspect the housework.

Having realistic expectations of the holiday season can prevent feelings of inadequacy and, instead, let you get the maximum enjoyment out of it. To get the most out of this time, try to relax a little.

Real life isn't like the movies. Instead of trying to plan the day down to every last detail, accept that things can, and probably will, go wrong.

Don't feel pressured to play host to extended family and friends in your own home. Instead, politely explain that, this year, you would like to have a quiet affair with just your nearest and dearest. You shouldn't feel compelled to return invitations to people who ask you to their homes to celebrate.

If you enjoy hosting larger family gatherings, remember that while people are guests, you can still hold your holiday celebrations in whatever style is most suitable for you. Just because your guests expect a formal sit-down meal, this shouldn't deter you from hosting your buffet-style dinner.

Remember that the holiday season is all about being with your family, and being able to enjoy spending time together. Time is a luxury in the fast-paced world we live in, and time spent with our families should be cherished.

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