by Holle Abee

Created on: November 10, 2008   Last Updated: November 13, 2008

Ah...the holidays. That joyful, wondrous time that we look forward to all year. But then when it gets here, we're so frazzled by trying to create the perfect seasonal idyll that we often end up stressed out, disappointed, and eager to just get the whole thing over with. It doesn't have to be that way! Follow these tips from an experienced celebrator to reclaim and actually enjoy the holidays!

First of all, learn to delegate. Don't be afraid to ask for help! I have a husband, three grown daughters, three sons-in-law, and six grandchildren, and after insisting on doing everything myself for years, I finally began enlisting their aid. How to involve your friends and family:

* Assign each person invited to a holiday meal to prepare a dish or two. For our Thanksgiving feast, hubby smokes the ham and turkey outside, and each daughter brings two side dishes.

* To get the house all decked out in Christmas decorations, I hold a tree-trimming party for my family. I set out lots of snacks and drinks, put on some festive seasonal music, and in no time at all, the tree is up and decorated, and the house is adorned in its holiday attire. And we have fun doing it!

Plan ahead:

The holidays don't sneak up on you. You know exactly when they're coming. So why wait till the last minute to get things done?

* Set aside a Christmas closet for gifts you collect during the year.

* Hit the after-Christmas sales for some great gifts for next year.

* Check ebay often for unbelievable buys on new items with tags. And you won't even have to leave the comfort of your home!

* Buy turkeys, hams, and other holiday foods when they're on sale and place them in your freezer. If you buy something extra on each trip to the grocery store, you'll have everything you need for your holiday cooking already on hand.

* Don't agonize over what to buy. I take each daughter shopping with me on separate occasions. We go out of town and make a day of it. Just the two of us. She selects all the gifts for her children, then we go out to a nice lunch.

* Demand a wish list from each adult. This makes shopping a breeze!

Keep your expectations realistic. There's no such thing as "the perfect holiday." If you don't believe me, watch National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation!

Do something for others. Each year, we dress the grands up and visit a local nursing home for Christmas. This year, we've also adopted a needy family with six children for Christmas. Each of my grandchildren will shop for one of the needy kids, which I hope will be a valuable experience for them.

By following the above guidelines, the holidays are no longer stressful for me. In fact, they're perfectly enjoyable! Also, I manage to "stretch out" the season by doing lots of little things with my family, so I'm not restricted to only a couple of days of fun on the actual all-important days themselves. Try it; you'll like it!

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