Raising a teenager is very much like being a scared rabbit and having a trapper catch you, and put you into a cage with several really hungry foxes. You are completely thrown into the situation, you are not ready for it, and you really feel you are not going to come out of the ordeal alive. I feel like a scared rabbit everyday when my two children come home from school. This is when I realize my quiet time of getting all my work is done. I am now faced with two hungry foxes, that are waiting to pounce on me and tear me limb from limb in their quest for being eternally non-grateful for me having given birth to them.
Currently, I am raising two children, one almost an adult person and the female of the two, that has recently entered the pre-teen years. Neither of my children went through the terrible twos. I was the happiest Mom alive to wonder aloud to friends, how I escaped unscathed my children passing through ever so non-eventfully the stage of turning two and seeking independence. Well, I am paying dearly now. And I am raising my children as a married, single Mom. I am often left alone with two sly foxes waiting to pounce, seeking me out anywhere in my home, even behind the closed bathroom door.
How am I weathering the line between sanity and insanity that a drama queen pre-teen and an almost adult person wrack on me with their daily assaults? Even though I have tried drowning my sorrows in alcohol, doctor prescribed medication and complaining to all that will listen, none of these methods has worked. What do I do to deal with these difficult times when a child will test the limits of reason? I deal with the kids in three different ways; with my sense of humor, writing about it, and handing them money and dropping them off at the mall.
The last one I totally made up. I give them work to do around the house. My attempts at keeping my sanity is working-I think. When my son asks to go to a friends house for the fourth day in a row, on a school night and I say No, when he starts slamming things, yelling and threatening to leave home, that's when I count to one thousand-forget counting to ten. Then I tell him sternly, without yelling, that he is staying home, because I am the adult and as long as he lives in my house he will do what he is told. This is just what my Mother told me and I know I tested her limits of sanity.
Many times I deal with my pre-teen by making it a humorous situation. When my pre-teen starts her drama queen hysrterics due to the inability to find something-I tell jokes, like "Why did the chicken cross the road?" She will stop in her tracks and believe it or not, try to answer me over her hysterics. I will even just make faces like I am a clown and she will laugh and realize how ridiculous she has been. She gets it, and it stops her drama thing from continuing.
Many times, I just write the episode in a journal of sorts to utilize the material later on for an article such as this for people to read. My two children are very different, and I handle their growing up and stretching their limits very differently. My son being the thinker, I can reason with him. My daughter being the actress, I have to deal with in a creative manner. And yes, I would love to just give them money and drop them off at the mall and let them wander around with friends. But then I would be rewarding their bad behavior, and they would not learn anything from it. Besides, I can't afford it!
Just think, my youngest hasn't even entered her teen years yet. I know I am going to be really in for a difficult time then. With my daugther having entered pre-adolescent, and having already showing signs of becoming a teenager, this is going to be a lot tougher than dealing with my son. But, I already know what to do-I will not stoop to her level. I have to be the person who is sane, reasonable and deals with her hysteria. Therefore, I will not scream at her, stomp around the house and slam doors. No, I will just do what I have been doing currently with her when she acts up-threaten to make her clean her room, or have her do some dastardly deed around the house-like cleaning the bathroom. Somehow, this always works. She quiets down and starts acting human again.
Maybe, I'm not a scared rabbit afterall!