by Melissa Knight

Created on: November 10, 2008

Children come in all shapes, sizes and personalities. Each one is as different as adults, with their funny sense of style or their goofy glasses. Kids forget to brush their hair and teeth. Often you'll see them with sleep dull faces and cowlicks at full attention in the middle of the afternoon. Kids, though, don't realize that they look funny or say strange things. The little girl in the grocery store with the sparkly red shoes and purple boa doesn't think she looks funny. Other kids might make comments about the little girl's appearance with no ill intent, but when an adult says something, it seems like they're trying to go for the heart.

Why do adults say mean things about children who don't belong to them? Why wouldn't they just keep their mouth shut? It happens all the time. The crabby older couple in line in the grocery store who makes comments about how fat the boy behind them is. They don't know that the mother knows her son is chubby and that's why she's telling him he can't have candy. They don't know that the boy was thin and fit before he had to go on steroids because of his asthma. Does the older couple not realize how badly their comments make the mother feel for her son? Do they care? Honestly, should that little boy's mother care about their reasoning? The point is they were rude and should be held accountable for their behavior.

What right do adults have to make nasty comments about kids? What makes them feel that they are so much better as adults than a child? What causes grown men and women to speak so harshly when it comes to a kid who is still learning to be who they will become?

One mother from Chicago feels that it's people's need to bully that causes them to say mean things about children. She feels that when an adult who should know better says something about a child, it's because they know that decorum dictates that the parent not speak up in front of the child because #1: that's acknowledging that someone has made a rude comment to the child, which may enhance the child's pain and #2: parents are constantly trying to teach their children how to be good people and not be rude. These two factors, she says, make children easy prey.

If your child has done nothing rude or inappropriate to prompt a rude comment, then it's important to stick up for your child. Just as you would tell your child not to say mean things to another person, it's okay to tell an adult that you don't appreciate what comments they are directing toward your child. It's also important to tell your child that good people don't act the way that person just has and make sure your child knows that you expect better behavior from them always.

These tactics will serve to embarrass the adult who has made the unkind comment. Since from childhood, we are taught that we should respect adults, the adult will feel like a lesser person for the comments they make. This also will help your child to feel more confidence, as the child will feel that in your eyes, they are just fine - even better than an adult. This can go a long way toward solidifying a strong, self confident personality in children.

Whatever you do, don't just walk away. If you walk away and say nothing to an adult who makes a rude comment to or about your child, you are telling the adult and your child that it is okay to behave that way. You're letting the adult know that you're not up to a challenge and you're confirming the rude comment to your child.

Of course, not every one will adore your child the way you do, but you don't have to allow people to be rude to them, either.

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