by Amanda Gonzalez

Created on: November 10, 2008

Congratulations you are now a mother! Surprise the labour was as painful as everyone said it was but hey you've forgotten about the real pain already and you now left feeling exhausted and wondering what is next.

Well you will feel exhausted and elated at the same time. The sheer joy and love you will feel is overwhelming. Family and close friends will want to come and see the new born baby which maybe a blessing or a curse depending what time of day or night you have given birth. I recommend just family see you during the first 24hr period, as you will have a lot of things to do and you will feel more comfortable around family than friends.

You will be asked to breatfeed your baby straight away even though you have no milk. if its your first, you will feel dumb and inadequate, but it will be enjoyable. Breastfeeding is not easy and depending on the nurse you will get different stories each time. Follow their instructions as best a possible, try and keep the baby awake and sucking for no longer than 20-30 minutes on each breast. If its noisy they are not on properly and you will get sore nipples. take the baby off the nipple and try again, if you don't you can create problems. Make sure you have a nipple cream because they will get sore, especially first time around. Where possible try and dry your breasts or let the sun dry them.

The vaginal area will be sore and your the nurse will provide you will a cold press, keep that up for at least 24hrs. Going to the toilet for the first time can be frightening as you will feel nothing is where is was last time you went to the toilet. This is normal as things have stretched. You will be bleeding for several days (like a period), again this is normal but if you are worried please get the nurse to check.

Around day 2 to 3 after giving birth you will go through a stage known as "The third day blues". It is where you will find yourself very emotional and teary. In my experience I was eating my cereal with tears rolling down my cheeks. I wasn't upset I was just crying for no reason. It also coincides with the coming in of you milk. I found I became very shivery and feverish just before, so wear something warm.

When the milk comes in this is where your partner will not look at your face but only focused on your breasts. They become like Dolly Parton and rock hard. It can be painfully and uncomfortable, but after a couple of feeds you should feel a little better.

The main thing that you will find is that you will be woken up at odd hours to breastfeed and it takes a lot of getting used to. Try and stretch out your feeds to four hourly and try and keep a routine, will aid in you getting sleep. You will need to start taking naps whenever you can. This is keep you refreshed, because you will be exhausted, especially when you go home and have to run the household.

I recommend for day dot you involve your partner in every aspect of the baby's life, such as putting the baby to sleep, changing the diaper and washing the baby. Not only will they enjoy it and feel usual it will give you a chance to relax and get ready for the next feed which will come around quicker than you think.

Being a mother is a joy but is hard work and something you discover on your own no matter how much people to tell you. If you feel down all the time or feeling like your not coping seek advice (don't be embarrassed) you may have a post natal depression and if not treated can lead to serious problems. However in saying that you will feel at times inadequate, tired, upset, frustrated and that is all normal.

Once home set up a routine in sleep times and feeding and you find that baby will enjoy it and so will you.

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