by Drew Woodson

Created on: November 10, 2008

Parents should always watch for unhealthy habits in their teens, but certain warning signs may indicate the need for more direct intervention.

The warning signs fall into two general categories: avoidance and calls for attention.

Avoidance

It is not unusual for teens to change their social patterns from time to time during their adolescence. But avoiding social interaction may indicate a change in mental state.

The sort of avoidance that would be most concerning would be avoidance of parents, peers, and social activities.

Though a teenager is trying to avoid a parent's attention, parents must be persistent. Parents can respond by seeking out a teenager wherever they go to avoid people. They can point out that they are avoiding their family and test their response. If they recoil further, something may be wrong.

Calls for attention

While it may seem like these calls would be hard to miss, parents often do not interpret calls for attention as anything more than typical teenage risk-taking. While risk-taking is a natural part of adolescence, it should follow patterns that fit with what a parent knows about a teenager. For example, a teenager who is late for curfew because she is out with friends who are known to her parents might be testing her limits. This is normal. A teen who is late for curfew because she is out with people unknown to her parents signals a need for heightened attention.

Obvious calls for attention would be illegal activity, drug use, a drastic change in appearance, or a change in social patterns.

The best way to respond to a call for attention is pay more attention. The teenager, though he may not admit it, wants attention. Remember, however, that attention does not mean nosing around in his room or grounding him to keep him at home. Attention is as simple as asking more questions or making an effort to know more about their lives.

Vigilance and Patience

Parents can help their teenagers by remaining vigilant and patient. Teenagers change rapidly, but parents should rest assured that they still need their parents to help them and guide them. Part of their jobs as teenagers is to see how much or how little they need their parents.

Parents are at their best when they pay attention to the changes in their teens and try to constantly re-meet their teenagers. Parents also succeed by being patient with those changes that are harmless (e.g. a new haircut or a new interest in fashion), yet letting no change go unnoticed. Parents can talk frankly with their teens about even the smallest changes. The teenager will often appreciate the chance to talk about himself. Parents will benefit by sending a signal to their teenager that they are paying attention.

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