2 of 19

Humor: When the federal government attempts to fix the economy

by Trisha Orlando

How can you not find humor in a government that spends FORTY TWO MILLION DOLLARS sending out letters to tell you "Hey, your stimulus check will be in tomorrow's mail?" What Washington D.C. Einstein came up with THAT great idea? Is it part of the package to stimulate the economy by spending 42 cents postage on each and letter? I didn't know the United States Postal Service was so hard up for work that we needed to send out a PRE-Stimulus Check letter.

I already knew when the anticipated date of my check was...I simply googled "Where's My Stimulus Check?" and badda-bing- the top link connected right to the proper IRS website that has a little link called "Where's My Stimulus Check". Click on that, enter your Social Security Number, how you filed (married, joint etc) and how many dependants you claimed. Not real hard information to cough up. Within .35 seconds I found out my check would be mailed on a specific date.

I can't help but wonder exactly how many IRS employees it took to send out the letter. One to write it, one to run copies of it, one to stuff the envelopes, and perhaps one to lick the stamps? Oh, that's right, they have a postage machine for that. I think they got bulk rate on it.

Like millions of Americans who got the letter on Friday, I saw the envelop marked in red: ""ENCLOSED IS AN IMPORTANT MESSAGE FROM THE IRS ON THE ECONOMIC STIMULUS ACT OF 2008. DO NOT THROW AWAY!" and I wondered why they were yelling at me! I quickly held it up to the light. Hmmm, doesn't look like a check, NOW WHAT? I figured they would tell me that I had some unknown luxury tax that was unpaid from my first job or something and that I was not going to get a check.

But no, the letter happily informed me that I should be getting the check tomorrow. My mailperson usually comes by 9:30 am on Saturday so I thought, "great, I can get it into the bank on Saturday and get a jump on Christmas shopping."

Not only did my mail NOT come by 9:30, it did not come by noon either and that is when the bank closes. Doggone it, I said.

Now I know that the Uncle Sam has a cruel and unusual sense of humor but was it really necessary to not deliver ANY mail to me at all on Saturday?

I won't be able to sleep a wink until that darn check shows up. If it doesn't come before the new President takes over, will I not get it at all?

Just a crazy suggestion...wouldn't it have been wiser to take that 42 million dollars and oh, I don't know, maybe GIVE IT BACK TO THE TAXPAYERS?

Yeesh.

Helium, Inc.
200 Brickstone Square Andover, MA 01810 USA