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I have a dear friend who for years fought depression and guilt over which was more pleasing to God; practicing religion or spirituality. She lived her life in a constant struggle trying to figure out the differences.

Claire was searching for "something". Growing up in a very strict religious environment she was always at church and going about the usual ritualistic motions of church life. She prided herself in being obedient to the Word, but she always felt empty inside. She often wondered if this was what heaven was really supposed to be like and was this what her life was suppose to be compiled of.

For years this was her life, going to church every weekend,morning and night, prayer meetings, endless socials, clubs and their events and plays; it was a never ending array of activities. She was constantly on the go but never stopping to feel the peace that calms like no other can. She felt so unworthy if she was not going through all of these motions.

This is what so many people put themselves through unnecessarily. We do not have to do this. Going to church is a wonderful thing but if you miss a Sunday or for some unforeseen reason you have to cancel out on an event; this is not the end of your life. You do not have to answer to the people there. That is what prayer is for; you talk to God. I personally don't think that it is a sin to miss church, because we are all sinners. We sin everyday, none of us are exempt. Some may feel superior and view themselves like that but I can bet you that behind closed doors they would shock all of us!

Claire's life was miserable until she turned fifty. Yes! I said fifty! It took her that long to finally come to grips with the truth that she was not disobeying God and to finally get over her guilt and begin a personal relationship with Jesus. Her guilt was so bad that it had gotten to the point that she would purposely avoid driving by her church if she missed a Sunday. The act of being religious was creating so much stress on her that she began to doubt herself and God. She feared disappointment if she was not in the appropriate garb and attending every service.

I'm not sure when it all began to change for her or what changed it, but for the first time in her life Claire prayed and actually felt that it was heard. Up until this point she was just going through the motions of believing and abiding by all the rules; trying to be perfect and please everyone. She began to feel a peace within her that caused her to totally change her persona. She began to view nature and people in a different light. But at the same time she felt herself being drawn closer and closer to a relationship with Jesus she had never experienced before.

Her bible study began to bring a clarity that she was unfamiliar with. She learned that even Jesus who walked everywhere he went, wearing whatever he had to wear and maybe wearing sandals, or not; had to get in a boat and get away from the crowd. We all need to reflect on how we believe and what we do with it. All of Claire's church activities are OK if you allow God to control you and not the religion.

Learn more about this author, Janet Dunn.
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