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feel justified in being abusive or even violent toward you.

Does your partner discourage you from seeing your friends or family?

An abusive partner may begin by telling you that no one likes him and everyone wants to see the two of you split up. Abusive partners feel the need to keep their victims totally isolated for several reasons. First of all the abuser doesn't want you to tell anyone about his behavior, but you must. If you have condoned violent behavior over a period of time and finally make the decision to call the police, according to them that would be his first offense. You must let people know the very first time you are the victim of violent behavior so there will be a record of it. It is not your fault and you certainly should not feel ashamed of anything. Another reason your partner wants you to feel totally isolated from everyone is simply because he doesn't want you to have anywhere to go should you choose to leave him. Don't listen to him, stay in touch with your friends and especially your family, because they do care about you.

Has your partner ever told you that you are a bad parent?

You partner is trying to make you feel guilty about the care of your children and the next phase of this may be threats to even take your children away from you. He is actually using your children to place the blame for his violent behavior on you. Children are always the innocent victims of domestic violence.

Has your partner ever pushed, slapped, raped you or threatened you with a weapon?

For many abusive partners this is the only way to show you that he is the boss. He must put you in a place where you have little or no self-esteem so he can maintain total power and control. At this stage, you have become no more than his servant and it will only get worse.

Has your partner ever threatened suicide?

This is no more than a "pity party" on the part of the abuser. He doesn't want you to leave because then he would have no one to intimidate, threaten or attack.

Does your partner blame alcohol or drugs for his temper getting out of control?

You must understand that even though alcohol or drugs may cause the violent behavior to be more intense, these are not the root cause of violent behavior. Not all alcoholics beat their wives and not all domestic violence abusers are alcoholics. As previously mentioned, the abuser must have something to blame for his behavior and these are just excuses.

Are you afraid of your partner?

Our home is the one place everyone should feel totally

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