by Michelle Shelly

Created on: November 09, 2008   Last Updated: May 04, 2010

One of the most difficult things is dealing with a loved one such as sister in an abusive relationship. We watch many times the self esteem get destroyed by her partner. It is one of the hardest things for one to go through with a family member. You try as hard as you can to get her to leave him, but half of the time it doesn't happen.

Sister often leaves him here and there, but she always crawls back into his life somehow someway because she believes that she can't live without life. You sit there in shock wondering why she stays with him. She is a victim, but she feels trapped. She feels that she can not make it in the world without him no matter how much education she acquired at college. Her self esteem is shot.

Your sister will often have an off and on relationship with the abusive person for several years before it finally ends complete. When does it usually end? She will finally leave the person threatens her life.
She will end up on your front door step when it gets so bad that she knows in her heart that she has to leave for good no matter how much she loved him.

The more you watch your sisters life goes down the tubes. You want to hug her and tell her to come home to a safe place. When she refuses and goes back to her lover it just crushes you even more to see her in the situation. You know that she would leave if only and only she felt worth something, but instead she is so damaged. It is almost impossible to make her feel loved because of all the damage caused.

Once sister finally leaves the abusive relationship then she will finally see what type of horrible life that she was living. Your sister needs intensive counseling to work through the issues that the abusive people left her with for almost a lifetime. She needs counseling in order to get help so she can learn to trust people again and feel worth something. Sister needs to know that she isn't a piece of trash.

She needs to know that her family loves her deeply. She needs to know that she is valued. She needs to know that people around her love her despite her issues. She has to build herself back up into the strong woman that she once was before she got involved with the abusive person.

She may need someone around her to let cry on the shoulder. She may go through stages of where she misses him so much that she wants to call him and go back. Encourage her not go back cause it will just keep going on unless the person goes to anger management or extreme counseling themselves.

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