Audrey
~
Alex Larkin picked up his glass of wine. It was one of those wide glasses that were supposed to be specially made to let red wine breathe. He smelled the rim of the glass as he had seen on so many movies and television shows, not knowing exactly what he was smelling for. It smelled like wine. Timidly he sipped, not wanting to look like an unattractive lush.
Audrey would not take kindly to a lush.
Alex put his glass gently on the blanket that covered soft wet grass. He had planned the picnic carefully, choosing all of Audrey's favorite foods, turkey sandwiches on pumpernickel bread with mayo, tuna salad with the expensive crackers that could only be bought at the specialty shop in Brandon, garlic mashed potatoes and cool ranch chips. Everything was perfect, even the blanket he had brought was a deep hypnotic purple, her favorite color.
He pushed his glasses higher on his this nose. The glasses were too big but they were the only pair he had. Wanting is not necessity, his mother had told him time and time again.
As he tenderly painted a mountain of tuna salad on a cracker he looked longingly at his beloved. She was wearing a yellow sun dress today. Her auburn hair would occasionally rise and fall as the wind shifted. Once or twice she shuttered as a cool breeze blew across the lake and he thought she should have brought a sweater. She would look beautiful in a sweater, he thought.
Slowly he ate the cracker, chewing each bit exactly thirteen times. It was by sheer force of will that he did not cringe as he ate the fish and mayonnaise paste. He truly hated the taste of tuna fish but it was her favorite and he would eat his weight in it if she had wanted him to.
Audrey smiled, perhaps thinking something humorous, something only she herself knew.
"What is it," he asked in a low voice, watching her closely. She did not answer. She never answered him. Still, he smiled along with her, pretending in his deepest darkest heart that she had shared her amusement with him.
Audrey picked up her cup and drank from it. To Alex this was the most graceful thing in the world. She had a style to everything she did that took his breath away.
It had been three years before when he had first seen her. Love at first sight was a concept reserved for the movies and storybooks, he had been sure. Audrey had changed his mind on that, and so many other things.
He had seen her standing at the checkout counter at McDuff's on Parker Avenue. She was a renter, coming for the beautiful summer season and leaving as it got colder. He was what the renters referred to as a townie. His entire existence belonged on this lake, year round. She had been wearing a plain blue dress on that day, her hair had been tied in a braid. He had just caught a glimpse of her startling eyes, as blue as the lake itself, before she left the store and at that moment he knew. He was in love.
Audrey gently picked up a triangular cut of sandwich and bit the corner off of it. As she did she looked around at the ancient trees that surrounded her, lost in her own mind.
"Do you like it," he asked, still speaking very low. He picked up his own sandwich (not cut in half but whole and thick) and nibbled at it. When she replaced hers he put his down.
"The lake is very beautiful today," he said, still watching her carefully. "I like it when the wind is picking up like this and the water ripples. You should see it in the winter, the storms we get are crazy. The water gets all gray and choppy. Its almost as beautiful as this." He laughed nervously. She would think he was a sentimental fool.
Audrey's lips moved but he couldn't make out what she was saying. He watched closely. Was she singing? Was she singing to herself?
Alex broke out into a wide grin. She was enjoying herself on the side of the lake. Sometimes he wondered but yes, she was actually having a good time.
He picked up his wine glass by the stem with two fingers and pinky extended, another move he had taken from the movies, and sipped at it timidly.
Audrey, he thought, I love you so much. If I could only tell you how much I loved you.
But of course he couldn't. When it came to her his tongue was stupid and slow.
Audrey looked up suddenly and the man in the jeans and faded tee shirt smiled brightly. Alex watched closely as he bent down, gave her a kiss, and sat next to her. She practically beamed as he put his arm around her and she cuddled close to him.
Alex's heart dropped.
There was noise behind him and he turned, taking his eyes away from the scene across the lake for the first time since he had sat down. His mother was awake.
Sighing heavily he took one last look at the scene of happiness that would have been only a short walk away if it wasn't for the sun speckled lake.
Slowly Alex got up and started to gather his picnic. He bent at the knees to do this, Audrey would not think it particularly charming if he stuck his back side in the air while cleaning up his mess.
He straightened and looked longingly at his love again. "I had a wonderful time," he said softly.
Audrey, of course, did not answer.
Slowly Alex walked up the long column of stairs to the house he shared with his mother.