Depression is an insidious disease that I did not choose to have. The most terrifying depression is the one ignored by others who could help but stubbornly refuse to do so. I feel compelled to write as I was recently told that I claim to be depressed "when it's convenient." This attitude gives license for my dangerous illness to be taken lightly and more importantly for it to be ignored.

Depression is one of the most socially misunderstood illnesses despite the overwhelming information available. But what do you do when your family doesn't want to learn although family education is part of the treatment and recovery?

There have been other illnesses in my family such as 2 types of cancer, autism and Parkinson's disease but none suffering from them has been made to feel guilty about their illness save the one suffering from this mental illness. For whatever reason, illnesses with clearly observed physical manifestations are somehow more real. There even seems to be a strong underlying current of anger and pent up hostility when someone has depression.

Life is not fun for a depressed person but unless something is done to rectify the situation it will go on that way indefinitely.

It is always a bad idea as well as truly selfish to leave a depressed person alone for it creates more depression. It takes very little effort to listen with a neutral attitude and to be reliable and present in the life of your loved one. Suicides often occur when families don't heed the warning signs because this subject is an uncomfortable one. This is indeed the ONLY time when the story of "The Boy Who Cried Wolf" never applies. You just can't afford to be wrong!

It is so hard to explain depression to people unless they have experienced it. And, please, don't tell your loved one to "snap out of it." This does NOT HELP! The best way to help is to become informed. Read books or at least some articles. Being there and listening help so much more than you realize.

People with depression are not "pretending" to be sick in order to get attention. Take a little time to empathize with your loved one. This could even be your issue some day. None of us is immune from it. Don't tell the person they are depressed for nothing or cite examples of people who are worse off. This does not help at all, but just makes the depressed one feel guilty. A person with this illness is already overwhelmed with guilt and doesn't need to be made to feel worse.

There are those of us suffering from depression who are made to feel as if our needs are small and insignificant at the very time when we need help the most. Families need to talk among themsleves and ensure the the subject is not taboo. Your support is needed as much here as it is when your loved one's life includes cancer treatments. It really won't take much of your time and will have a big payoff. Helping will not only make your loved one feel better but will also make you feel proud of yourself for caring!

Learn more about this author, Donna Golden.
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