by Shirley Roe

Created on: November 08, 2008

"Through the Valley of the Shadow of Death"

How animated and happy he seems this morning. His voice seems stronger somehow. I set his coffee beside him; he smiles a brilliant smile. Reflecting back over the past few months, I know that any improvement is temporary. His breathing becomes more shallow as the days pass, his eyes are glazed over and now he is telling us this fantastic tale.

"I don't know what it was, but I wasn't dreaming. I was actually there and I could walk and breathe without difficulty. Everyone was friendly and happy- some old, some young and there were dogs everywhere. Big dogs, small dogs it was wonderful. I put out my hand and there was a dog to pat instantly."

I look across to my husband Jim, whose concern is evident on his face. "Tell us more about this place Dad."

"Well, like I said, I wasn't dreaming. I went to the strange place and it was something else. You don't have to take your lunch there because no one eats. A lovely blond woman asked me if I like peaches and I said that they were my favorites. Next thing I know she brings a big bowl of them and I can taste them even though I am not eating them. They were delicious. Oh yeh, I forgot to tell you. No one talks there. They just think words and you can hear them. It is amazing. I don't know how they did it."

He laughs, a strong boisterous laugh. The sound that we have not heard in so long fills the room. I cannot help but smile. He is happy today. Wherever it is that he thinks he has been, it has brought joy to his face and laughter to his lips and I am thankful.

He sits back in his chair and falls asleep. Jim and I look at each other with tears in our eyes.

A few minutes later, Dad smiles and starts to laugh. He looks at us with eyes glazed over and smiles. He does not see us.

Hours pass and once again he relates his experience, which he remembers with astounding clarity. "That was something else, I can't get over it. What a wonderful place."

I ask him if Mom or I were there with him.

"Well, you were there but you were outside. I saw you outside with some people and they were showing you something. But you didn't come in. I saw Mom at first but then she wandered down a long tunnel. I called her back but she didn't hear me. I was worried that I would lose sight of her." Once again he laughs out loud at some unheard joke. I leave the room.

Upstairs alone, I pray for the strength to watch my Father die. He is hallucinating, he can barely breathe and I can do nothing to help him. Yesterday we

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