by D. P. Noe

Created on: November 08, 2008   Last Updated: November 24, 2008

A personal mentor in my professional career once told me to be disappointed only about what you can control, try to fix any mistakes and set more realistic expectations for yourself. Rejection is a part of life and no one is successful with everything that we set out to do. If you were always successful, there would be no need to push and continue on with any further goals.

Disappointment can be painful. It is not realistic that you can win every time with everything you set out to do. Not everyone gets that job they have been dreaming of. Even though you picture a life of bliss, every marriage will not survive. You never know when serious illness can be a dent in achieving your dreams. But on the other hand, if you become afraid of disappointments, than we lower our expectations and limit ourselves to many experiences out of fear. There needs to be a fine balance so that we are not closing the doors on opportunities in life.

If you learn from your disappointments, it will teach you how to win and lose with grace and style. Repeated disappointments or even one major disappointment can lead to a very unhappy and depressed individual if it is not dealt with. Disappointment is a normal response to being let down. It needs to be worked out so a healing can take place.

If you put up walls when you are feeling vulnerable because of disappointments in your life, you are cutting yourself off from the healing process. Do not shut yourself off from your friends. For example, you were just laid off from a job that you love and a good friend comes over to your home and you literally cry and share all the disappointment in losing your job. Knowing that your friend was there and cared, gave your strength to carry on. If you had close the door and put up walls, where would you be? The friendship gave hope and strength to move on and start a new chapter in your life.

Disappointment typically centers around some type of loss or rejection or failed expectations. Depending on how an individual responds to the disappointment can have a significant affect on your future outlook, your confidence level and current and future relationships. Sometimes disappointment just take time to recover from. Disappointment can teach valuable lessons in life and it is important to seize the opportunity when it happens. This is what makes us grow and become stronger and not turn our back on life.

No matter how careful or positive you are in your daily life, you can not avoid times of pain, grief or fear. All of these emotions are a part of life that everyone experiences. Appreciate the times of happiness in your life when they occur. Spend special time with your family and friends. Enjoy and find time to participate in hobbies, Take a vacation and visit a place you have dreamed of traveling to. You have to make it happen. This gives balance when episodes of disappointment happen.

The important lesson to dealing with disappointments is to analyze the situation, see what you can learn and move on with life. If you run into a dead end, pick yourself up and try again. Do not isolate yourself and seek the help of friends and family when disappointment occurs. If you are looking for perfect, it does not exist. Learn to forgive and overlook shortcomings and chances are you will make the most of disappointments when they happen in your life.

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