by Seven Tafaoa

Created on: November 08, 2008

Jealousy is known as a green monster in us waiting for an opportunity to show itself outwardly. The friendly gesture of the girlfriend to a guy (especially!) other than the boyfriend, all eyes are on it and have mentally recorded it. Any slight indifference from the girl is the guy's opportunity to attack her with jealousy. But it seems more prevalent to girls than to guys considering who gets the most jealousy cases in a couple relationship. My guess is because girls are very emotional and suspicious whereas guys are more narrow-minded and macho; and so girls tend to be jealous of their guys talking with other girls. I don't like to think that it's all a mindset produced by insecurity and fear, but sometimes girls just can't help it. Some girls are easy-going, having nothing against their guys with girl friends; yet some girls would take it as a competition rather than an honest relationship-unless she does not want to befriend his girl friends and act aloof toward them.

What I don't get is that the media is encouraging women to act in ways to win men over, making it a competition amongst themselves. Because women are emotional, their minds are set to work against that belief, which is actually a false belief. So, most of the time, men don't seem to understand what women think about, which explains why they are erratic but tend to cover it up by saying it's PMS. Women are cunning in that sense and men are too gullible to accept whatever is to given to them.

Since media helps to shape gender differences in a relationship, I've recently watched a show on television one day on "Wife Exchange" about a guy who's wife makes him work for quality time with her. How pathetic is that? After being swallowed up by disgust, I wondered about how gullible men can become to easily fall for the women's schemes and manipulations. But it can be one reason jealousy might be in the picture somewhere for this man to behave in such a way.

I don't want to stress a point that it is the women that are prone to jealousy, making it difficult for men to have a rational relationship with them, but it is just one part of a growing relationship. The men need to be educated in how to deal with it not in the way the media thinks, but what we know to keep the relationship going. That is, the relationship should be based on Trust and Honesty. Commitment may be hard for a boyfriend/girlfriend relationship because they are yet to be at a serious stage of the relationship, but for married couples, jealousy should easily be dealt with only with Trust, Honesty, and Commitment.

Both sides should share the virtues or else jealousy takes control of the relationship. Both men and women should be rational to think things over so that understanding takes place. Listen and communicate rationally and constructively. Jealousy is truly an inner battle regardless of gender and if it is not revealed through honest communication, it will wreak havoc the relationship to a point of no resolution.

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