by Ma. Teresa Baniaga

Created on: November 07, 2008   Last Updated: November 22, 2008

Unexpected Challenges of First-time Parenting

First-time parents react differently to the arrival of the newest member of the family. Their reactions depend on a lot of factors, not least their readiness to take on the task of nurturing the little one. It is a huge responsibility and if wariness is the initial reaction, it is understandable.

On top of the list of unexpected challenges of first-time parenting is the physical demands of caring for the newborn. It takes time before the mother and the baby settle down to a comfortable routine of sleeping, feeding and nappy changing. It does not help that this adjustment follows closely the physical trauma and exhaustion of labor and the actual giving birth. The possibility of post-partum depression setting in further heightens the challenge.

Another major challenge first-time parents face is the effect on the couple's relationship, i.e. their intimacy and time for each other. It is physically exhausting to care for the baby and it takes commitment to not lose focus on the spouse as well. In order to breeze through the adjustment period, the couple should remain supportive of each other and consider caring for the child their first major joint venture.

And then, there are the financial implications of having a new baby. As first-time parents, the couple might only be starting on building their life together and for most, the additional expense of child rearing can take its toll on their finances. This is quite a major hurdle for the couple to overcome. Some may say that this is not at all unexpected, but truly, one can never imagine the financial implications of raising a child until he has experienced it firsthand.

Having a baby for the first time also has its emotional repercussions. How mature are the parents to take on the challenge of being accountable for another human being? Are they willing to sacrifice for their child and focus on nurturing it? Commitment and sheer determination to make good should make up for what the parents lack in experience in this area.

Socially, first-time parents might also need to re-order their priorities. Before the baby, they could come and go as they pleased. Nights out and parties were the "big thing". As parents, they would now have to say goodbye to most of that kind of existence and start developing a more domesticated routine. There are some unprepared parents who just don't get this and end up getting frustrated, resenting their child or neglecting their responsibilities.

It is a great privilege to be parents. Try as much as we can, we can never prepare enough for the arrival of a baby, especially the first one. Knowing and preparing for these challenges of first-time parenting should give us an idea about how to tackle them. The secret is not in focusing on the challenges but on the joys the gift of a baby brings, not on what freedom and time for ourselves we lost but on the new love we gained from having a little angel.

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