by Elyse Guyer

Created on: November 07, 2008

You've gone to the movies together more times than you can count, you risk being late every day to history class for that one final kiss in the hall, and maybe you've even had some steamy make-out sessions that have gone pretty far, but how can you tell if you're really ready to have sex? Ask yourself these questions first:

Am I making the decision to have sex for me?

It sounds like a silly question at first, but you need to make sure that you are completely in charge of any decision you make about sex. If you're thinking about having sex because you worry that your boyfriend might not love you if you don't or because your friends are all talking about it then you're not ready to have sex. It's your body and your decision. Make sure that you are thinking about sex because it's something that you want to do. Sex is an intimate event between two people, and both parties need to be 100% sure about their decision before going through with it.

Am I prepared for the possible consequences of having sex?

STIs (sexually transmitted infections) and pregnancy are two big possibilities that often come to mind. Condoms are an absolute must, and when they're used correctly along with some form of birth control you can lower your risk for unintended pregnancy and disease. However, condoms can break and birth control can fail. Are you ready for the consequences then? Can you tell a parent or adult that you need to see a doctor for an STI test? If pregnant would you carry the pregnancy to term? Would you think about abortion? Adoption? Mentally walk yourself through all the scenarios you can think of. All actions in life can have consequences so make sure you are prepared for the possible outcomes of deciding to have sex.

Am I comfortable with my partner?

Sex always looks so easy in movies, but when it comes time to get down to business in real life, things can get a little awkward. You've both had sex ed, but where exactly does that thing go?! First time sex especially can be a little bit painful and embarrassing, so it's important to have a partner that you can trust and relax with.

If you've answered all of these questions and you feel like you are ready to have sex, the next step is to talk with your partner. You need to be able to openly talk about sex together. If you can't talk about it, then how could you actually do it? Talk with a parent, older sibling, or trusted adult about birth control and condoms. If, however, you've gone over these questions and have decided that you're not ready yet, then go have some pizza with your friends! You'll know when the time is right for you.

Learn more about this author, Elyse Guyer.
Click here to send this author comments or questions.