by Seth Newton

Created on: November 06, 2008   Last Updated: November 11, 2008

I couldn't help myself. I got sucked in by it once again this year. Without mentioning any names in order to avoid insulting the involved parties, let's just say I have been collecting pieces for a promotional contest at the most famous fast food chain involving the only board game that has houses, hotels, and free parking. And time, my friends, has quickly run out on my hopes and dreams.

It's already the beginning of November and I still have many missing sticker pieces on my sad sad board, exactly one in each property group which is most ironic. The promotion has pretty much reached for its last breath and again, for the same amount of times this stupid event has been held, I haven't one a damn thing. Sure, there still may be a few stragglers out there floating around, a cup here and a large fry container there, but the winners have already been picked. This isn't Charlie's chocolate factory. I haven't nor will I ever pick out a candy bar with the golden ticket. My life's just not set up that way. Now I get to dump all those little colorful stickers in the trash with the rest of the garbage along with my stupid paper game board, and for what? Probably just 25% off at the locker of feet, some more back fat, and a few clogged arteries.

The worst thing about it is I hate their crappy food. I feel it slowly kill a tiny bit of me each time the retarded cow meat runs down my throat and yet I can't stay away from the place when that sweet board game's in town. It got so bad this time that I ended up buying empty cartons because I couldn't stand the food anymore. After the promotion's over every year, I always swear the contest off forever along with getting the overwhelming feeling like it has ruined my life. But like a good drug always does, its sucks you back in every time it comes around. I would say the contest to me is similar to a zombie to brains relationship. I don't even eat there any more and I still end up going without hesitancy every year. I can also tell you I have never won anything more than a fake dollar from an electronics store or a slight discount on the latest expensive high top sneakers.

I love to hate this useless annual promotional tool that drains both my health and dignity, but I really don't think I can help it and I don't think I'll ever stop, unless I actually kill myself with gluttony. Luckily that seems to be a few years away by my estimation. So even though I'm hating it right now, when the same train comes to town and I see that sign outside the fast food restaurant with the logo of the board game made by the company that rhymes with Hilton madly, you know who will be jumping on and hitting that up again.

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