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Satire: Religion

by Jennifer Luers

Created on: November 06, 2008

Standing at the check out line in the grocery store one headline reads "Woman Gives Birth: Claims to be Virgin". Another cover says "Man Returns from the Dead". More striking than the titles are the photos of the man walking on water. Would any of them be credible to you? When you arrive home would you wish you would have bought one to find out more? If you're a Christian wouldn't it be a sin not to believe the headlines? Stories most of us would immediately deem false at the check out stand are considered to be the gospel if they come from the Bible?

Zeus, Athena, and Apollodoes anyone worship them anymore? Weren't they gods at one time? Will people of today worship their God hundreds of years from now? If religion wasn't introduced to you during your childhood what would you believe?

Would you notice that several religions come from just one book? Baptist, Methodist, Catholic, Episcopalian, Church of Christ, Church of God, Church of the Nazarene, Lutheran, Pentecostal, and Presbyterian to name a few. If the Bible is in fact the gospel then why are there so many interpretations? Why do some religions think they are better than the others when in fact they study from the same book?

When did it become ok for us to pick and choose from the Bible only those things that suit our needs? Heaven forbid you have yet to find God in a church somewhere. Is he really only found in church? Can you find God on a mountain top or in a gorgeous sunset? Some would argue the mountains and sunsets are His creation. If God can only be found in church isn't that similar to Santa Claus visiting every house in one night? How can God be in every single church every Sunday morning? Of course, the standard answer is "because he's God".

Whenever people don't have an answer to one of life's questions they give God superhero powers. Although the circumference of the earth at the equator is about 24,000 miles and we are a perfect distance from the sun, do you believe it was all created in 7 days? Scientists say the Earth is 4.6 billion years old. The Bible states that the Earth is only a few thousand years old, so some believe that dinosaur remains were put here to test their faith.

To some the worst offense is to have never been baptized. In many cases it isn't up to us whether or not we are "dipped". Our parents choose for us when we are infants. Is this right? Do you have the right to choose for your kids? Some of you are thinking "they're my kids and I know what is best." So, you know

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