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There is no check list available for women to use that will show her if the relationship she is in is good or bad. Most D.V. abusers hide their true selves for a while, gaining trust and love from the victim before starting the physical abuse. This makes it harder to gauge how the person you are with is going to act three months or three years down the road. The only true compass we have is our own bodies. Learning to heed what our gut tells us is the hardest part because we get so use to ignoring it. Your body can sense things that are out of whack, even if there is nothing visible at the time so we dismiss it as being silly or telling ourselves that we are just over reacting.

Know and watch for the warning signs of Domestic Violence. Any person you enter a personal relationship with, you should know before hand what types of behaviors you will not put up with. Make your boundaries clear and set restrictions on how much you will let slide. Many abusers are wanting to control every aspect of your life. If they are very jealous and have issues with you going out with friends, this could be a red flag. Another part of D.V. is separating you from everyone else but them. Make it clear early on the things that are important to you.

Any action that is hurtful emotionally is a big red flag. There is never any love connected with hateful words. If the person you are with is mean to you verbally, it's a huge red flag that physical violence is not that far off. If they have huge anger issues, this is also a red flag. Pay attention to these things and realize that you are worth more and deserve to be with someone that truly loves you for who you are. Domestic Violence is not love, no matter what they tell you. If they cannot take accountability for their actions, but place the blame with you, making statements such as, "If only you didn't", or "You should have." This is something to also pay attention to. You are not in control of someone else and their actions. Love is not hitting, yelling or cutting you off from others. That is social isolation and abuse.

There is also safety planning for the future, for example, setting up a private savings account that only you know exists and diligently putting small deposits in it for that just in case situation. Women have issues with that idea because they feel it is lying or omitting the truth to their loved ones. The thing we need to realize is that even in a marriage, you are still a single person. It's not as if you are cheating

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