by D. Victor

Created on: November 06, 2008   Last Updated: May 09, 2010

Self-expression is a lot more than "saying what you mean and meaning what you say". This is not to contradict the reality that language is a significant part of the way we communicate. Communication is just one way in which we express ourselves. Descartes, the French Philosopher, stated "I think, therefore I am". If we extrapolate from that comment, we could deduce that self expression is about revealing your character, beliefs, thoughts and ideas. Are you afraid to do any of these things generally or feel uncomfortable in many social situations? Then you may be afraid to express yourself.

Fear of self-expression can be useful in limited situations. If you know that you may be judged unfairly, stigmatised or discriminated against, this fear would be a defence mechanism that clearly works in your favour. If you are a habitual self-monitor, who is ultra-sensitive to the perspective of others, your personal development would be stymied. We are socialised by belonging to groups and relationships. Our growth, both socially and individually, occurs when we share ourselves.

Who you are may be somewhat difficult to define. Sometimes personality and habit are seen as interchangeable. Habits, particularly bad ones, should not be confused with personality, even though either concept may plausibly influence the other. Inability or unwillingness to express your personality is a sign of fear. We usually do this when we feel threatened or want to conform.

If you're afraid of revealing your thoughts or ideas, you should get over it quickly. Do not confuse being opinionated with arrogance or assertiveness with aggressiveness. If you fail to assert yourself, you will be the proverbial doormat. You would not claim your own space in the social realm. There would be a dissonance within you since you are unable to express properly the thoughts and feelings that make you unique.

Some people are generally more confident than others. However, even some of those with higher confidence levels may be intimidated by a person or social situation. Facing a particular person, group or situation may cause you to feel unlike yourself and act in an atypical manner as well. You may feel more reserved or even withdrawn. Non-verbally, you may show signs of discomfort. It is not uncommon for everyone to face this at some point in their lives. However, it is important to discover the underlying cause. Is it simply a case of personality preference? (Some personalities prefer smaller crowds to larger ones). Or is it a case of your being unnecessarily fearful of being yourself?

The "self" is a very difficult concept to define. However, we can feel it in a number of ways. In situations where we have less fear, we feel comfortable and experience a range of positive emotions. We appear confident and emit positive non-verbal signals. Otherwise, we may appear uncomfortable, insipid, foolish or introverted. We're all afraid of expressing our true selves to everyone to a greater or lesser extent. That is natural, since we should keep some information private indeed. However, if this fear of self-expression is holding you back, you need to overcome it.

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