by Nino Frewat

Created on: November 06, 2008   Last Updated: November 09, 2008

What draws a younger man to an older woman is her unattainability. If she is perceived unattainable, the challenge is greater and the attraction is stronger.

I'm talking about the case when you willfully chose an older woman, not when this relationship is the product of chance.

This stems from a need younger people have to split from the norm, to challenge conventions and to break monotony. In such a relationship, the man does not do anything; it all depends on the woman, even though she most likely does not know it.

The more the woman stretches this societal rift, the more it reinforces this challenge, the hungrier the man becomes for this. For this particular reason, not all women can be attractive to men. It does not have to do with whether a woman is hot or not, it does however have everything to do with how much a man perceives this woman as not being a girl. Which is why the way a woman talks, her voice, meaning her command of her words, the way she looks when she speaks, how she carries herself as she walks... What a woman does, that a girl must, absolutely, have years before she can comfortably and assuredly do, this is what draws a man to an older woman.

I am sure the classical pscyhological reasons given in such cases come next. I am sure that the figure of the mother come into mind, but that is only after this attraction is already set. I am certain as well that a younger man can, and indulges, in becoming, not being, more emotionally needy than he will ever dream of with a young girl. It is a reverse of the traditional role where a man can internally feel, if not secure, at least that he is free from this subconscious repsonsibility.

The social status, especially if the woman is visibly older than her boyfriend, is a welcomed bonus. These first encounters, or interactions, that the couple does with the outside world, are a non-stop thrill to the young man, and they constitute a drive for this relationship to endure.

The problem comes later. When the woman realizes she impersonates an idea in the mind of the man, and when the thrill of the image, is no longer, in the daily life of the man. If the relationship moves past those obstacles, it will endure. Otherwise, it will become what it sought to break; monotony.

I have never experienced the joy of being with an older woman. I am only writing in direct answer to the question, how I personally feel if I look at or talk with an older woman.

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