by Elaine M. Healy

Created on: November 06, 2008

Relationships are very difficult and the biggest obstacle that gets in the way is the fact that we are human. We are all human and humans are fallible creatures. One of our faults is that we are, by nature, takers; and when we are in relationships that issue is magnified because we tend to take from that single person. It becomes easier to be a taker in a one-on-one situation because you are with this other person because you trust them and rely on them. You know that they will be there for you. However, after a period of time when you are conscious of giving back to what you take; we get a little too comfortable and we allow one or two to slide by. Before you really know what has happened your significant other is sitting you down and pointing out that you have taken and taken and taken and have given nothing back. Your defenses go up as you begin to search your brain for each and every minor way that you ever gave back but somewhere in your soul you begin to realize that they are right and you have taken well more than you have given back.

In the same respect, as time goes by you begin to think about everything that you have given to your partner and while in this frame of mind your mind and become completely void of all the things your partner has given back to you. You find yourself taking more because you don't think your other half has given you enough. When you think you've had enough you tell your partner about all the things that you give and don't get back; well now you have opened a can of worms. Turns out your partner has been thinking the same thing about you. Before you know it you're engaged in argument about who does what for who.

STOP! Your trick is to always be aware of your partner. Pay attention to the others thought, feelings, and actions; and you just might find that things are pretty damn good.

Sometimes being a fallible human gets in the way of many things in your life. However in relationships you need to watch it a little closer. Your most subconscious behavior can easily destroy the part of your life that makes you happiest. Remember that relationships are a two way street. It's not 50/50; it's 100/100. You give all of yourself to the other person and they give all of themselves to you. Just remember that when you take a cookie for the jar; to bake the next batch.

In addition, don't play tit-for-tat in your relationship. Don't keep a scoreboard of who has done what for who. Measure your relationship of the level of happiness that you both have achieved. Keep the lines of communication open and you'll find a pretty level playing field.

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