by Samuel W. Connelly

Created on: January 16, 2007   Last Updated: November 04, 2008

I am a man. I am a man who is fully and deeply devoted to my wife. I married my fantasy woman, too bad not everyone does.

Unfortunately I have had three close friends, who cheated on their wives. I don't hang out with them now, because I don't have time for men who want to mess around. I don't play with fire. BUT if you want a few things to look for, I'll give you some.

First, however, this is a very touchy issue and can run off a faithful man if his faithfulness is questioned. Don't let your paranoia ruin your relationship.

Signs 1. His sexual attitude towards you changes dramatically. He is not interested in conversation with you. He no longer makes out with you, he doesn't kiss your lips while love making and seems more like an emotionless animal that needs to have an orgasm, and then go to sleep, not concerned with your pleasure or intimacy.

2. His work hours get longer and longer, when he used to be home everyday at the same time. Remember, you are his wife, you have every reason to call his place of work and ask for him.

3. He starts questioning your faithfulness to him. He accuses you of cheating. Although this does not mean that he is cheating, it is a sign that he is judging you by the same measure that he trusts himself. He knows himself, and is judging you by his lack of faithfulness, he is not judging you by the history of love and faithfulness that you have always given him.

4. He gets calls from work suddenly and has to leave right then because of an emergency. Call his work, ask if he is there, and if he is cover yourself by saying, "I was worried when he left so quick, is everything ok?" If they say they don't know what your talking about, call his cell or wait for him to call you and act like you didn't call his work. See if he lies to you.

5. He has suddenly become very private with his cell phone and gives you reasons why you can't answer it. He answers the phone fast at home and says it was a wrong number.

6. He put a password on his cell phone or pda, where he never had one before.

The next emergency that comes up, feel free to follow him, or have your brother follow him.

Again, you're his wife, you have the right to check his e-mail, call his work.

Remember that although these are signs, they are not grounds for accusation. The big sign here, and the key to judging by these signs is if they are SUDDEN changes.

If you see these things and are concerned, handle it carefully, because it may be that your husband is cheating, but these are also symptoms of a very stressed out, depressed, or possibly suicidal husband that is trying to make ends-meet, be a good husband, (father) and feels like the stress of career, fiances, and his personal lack as a husband (and man in general) are getting further and further out of reach.

I was friends with three men who showed these signs of unfaithfulness and when the truth came out, they were cheaters.

I was friends with a man who showed these signs, and, after his wife accused him of unfaithfulness she found him eight days later death in the closet, with their bills in one hand and family and wedding pictures laying all over the ground.

Later she found that the emergency call he was getting once a week, was nothing more than an alarm he set to go off. He set it to go off, lied to his wife and said he had to go to work, when he was going to a local coffee shop it just get away.

Just keep the lines open and make sure that if it is stressful for him, he finds a home and refuge in your love and trust. Signs and signals are always something to watch, but never enough to base an opinion on. Talking is the key; truthful, loving, consistant, and often.

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