by Roy Malton

Created on: November 05, 2008

The short answer is no. While parents are a great shaping force on a child's attitude and personality as they grow, to assign responsibility to one or two people for the actions of another is ludicrous. And to assign to oneself the responsibility for another's actions, it is little more than egotism.

There is really only one argument here. The argument, as with many things that will continually be in debate is that of nature versus nurture. Is a child born with a blank slate and is only the sum of his or her experiences? Or does a person possess a dynamic quality that allows them to act in ways contrary to those who are similar?

This is an argument about psychology. In psychology, like many things, there are multiple schools of thought. Nature versus Nurture is the root of each philosophy.

Older people look at the younger people of today and always talk about how the new generation is disrespectful, lazy, incompetent, or whatever else they wish to say at the time. Is this because of the parenting of the previous generation? Is it because of a cynicism that comes with age? Is it that each new generation is becoming gradually more depraved than the last?

It seems that the knee-jerk tendency is to answer these questions by 'blame the parents.' Well, did John Wayne Gacy get convicted for raping and murdering thirty three people because his father was a violent drunk?

By the same token, it occurs to me that parents also try to take credit for their children's achievements, saying 'Oh, we must have raised him right.' That strikes my ear as the parents trying to live vicariously through the lives of their children.

Were Alexander Fleming's parents too cheap to buy new bread? Or did they raise him to leave culture dishes unattended? Did they take the credit when a happy accident occurred and he discovered penicillin?

It appears to me that the choices that a person makes are just that. And why do people make choices? Do people stop and think about their choices with 'What would my mother think?' Or are the effects of parenting more subtle?

The effects of parenting are not so overt as parents might like to think. They aid in the development of a child and help instill morals. Please take note of that, they help instill morals. They try to teach their children what is right and wrong, and hope it will take. Ultimately, as with most things, the shaping of a child is from many different angles.

At the end of the day, the things people do and the choices they make are theirs and theirs alone. The only person held accountable for their actions, good or bad, is the person who made the choice. Others may guide someone along their way, but it in the end, it's a matter of leading a horse to water.

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