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Hands Up!

"I'm sorry. It's nothin' personal. You just picked the wrong shift to be working tonight, ya know. I don't want to see nobody get hurt so just do what I say, no questions-got it? Got it? Nod your head, say yes, quack like a damn duck! Do somethin' so I know you heard me. Got it? Good.

"Now, unplug that phone over there. You got a cellphone? Turn it off. I don't want you makin' any calls right now. Hurry up! I don't have all night. I got to be long gone before the sun comes up. And don't even think about trippin' no alarm.

"Get your hands up! Put 'em up, I said.

"Nah, put 'em back down. You look ridiculous. Like you think I was going to shoot you or somethin'. But, I'm watchin' you. No funny stuff. Got it? Good.

"You keep this up, keep listening like you are, you're gonna get through this okay. We're both gonna get through this okay. No problems at all.

"What's in here? Is this the beer? That's good, 'cause I like beer. Mind if I have one? That's supposed to be a joke. You know, funny.

"Enough small talk. To business. And business is exactly why I'm here. Better put them hands up, again. You make me nervous sittin' there like that. I'm not convinced you won't try somethin' sneaky.

"Why am I here? My job. The always on call, never enough pay, bleed my heart out for no word of thanks job that I do every single day of the stinkin' week. I spend all day on the phones, ya know, answering calls from people that shouldn't even own a computer, let alone be allowed to turn the blasted thing on. 'My email is broken.' 'I get too much spam.' 'I am a long time customer, and I expect you to bend over and kiss my behind.'

"I can't even take a smoke break, you know? Every time I start to go outside, my phone starts ringing again. It's like, somehow, there's a camera set up and pointed at my desk. People watching over the Internet, just waiting for me to try and walk away for a minute or two. They're driving me crazy! I gotta get outta there, I tell you.

"I've had it! I can't take it anymore. So, tonight, I'm doing something to change that. Drastic? Yeah, I guess you could call it that. It's time to take matters into my own hands and change my world for the better. It starts right here, right now. Just you and me.

"Put your hands down. You still look ridiculous.

"Yep, this certainly qualifies as drastic. Bet you never expected to find yourself in this kind of situation tonight, huh? Stupid question. Of course you didn't. Who would? Oh, stop wimperin'.

"Go? Hell no, you can't go. I'm not leavin' yet, and neither are you. 'Cause you and me are going to sit here till we get this story done. I'll do all the talkin', since I'm just the voice in your head. You're going to have to do the typing. Got it?"

Learn more about this author, Michael Raymond.
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