by Cyndi Li

Created on: November 05, 2008

Some of the most impressionable years of life are the school years. It's during this time solid opinions about us and others begin to form. One of the ways this is determined, albeit subconsciously, is how we fit in among our peers; or in some cases how we don't.

Bullying at school has been brought into the lime light mostly due to the horrific choices some teenagers, and even younger children, have made in order to deal with a bully they encountered at school; the worst of which was to take their own life.

Bullying isn't restricted to the physical. It can also take on the form of verbal abuse, intimidation tactics, cruel teasing, name calling and labeling to name just a few.

A child who is being bullied may exhibit some of the following behaviors. Self-isolation, change of habits including eating, sleeping and interaction with peers, poor school grades, inability to focus, short temperament and many others. If you suspect your child is being bullied at school, trust your instincts and intervene.

First, ask your child if they are being bullying. They may or may not admit it. Many times children will not tell their parents for fear if the bully finds out it gives them something else to harass your child about. If they seem apprehensive about telling you what's going on, explain to them no one should be bullying anyone and you only want to help. If they won't come clean, make an appointment with the principal of their school.

Explain how your child has been acting and what you suspect is going on. Give the principal, and the school staff, a few days to scout out the situation. If there is bullying going on they should be able to spot it. Once it's been confirmed, and the bully has been identified, take action.

Working as a team, approach the situation as follows.

Find out where your child is most likely to cross the bully's path. Is it in the lunch room or are they in the same class? In either place a different seating arrangement may be the key to stopping the bully from being able to target your child. If it's on the bus, incorporate the bus driver's help, and ask if it's possible for the seating to be shifted so the two of them are not near each other. The more eyes you have monitoring the situation, the better chance you'll have of being able to stop the harassment; and quite possibly, save your child's self-esteem from being crushed.

If you know the bullies parents you may want to talk with them; they might not have a clue what their little angel has been up to. Even if you don't know them you may still want to approach them with what's been happening. Be cautious with this approach; the parents may be who the bully learned to be a bully from, or your child could suffer more abuse if the bully finds out they've been ratted out. Be as discreet as possible.

Talk with your child about why they think the bully is harassing them. It could be a simple miscommunication on both their parts that could be easily resolved. Whatever happens, do not stop communicating with your child.

They need to know you're there for them. They may need to talk with someone, and you could be the only one they feel they've got. You must do all you can to either help them maintain their self-esteem or rebuild what the bully has managed to tear down.

Bullies are a dime a dozen. There's one in every schoolyard all across the world. Their aggressive tactics may make them feel like they have the upper hand; but they'll only have it if you allow them too.

Be assertive, be vigilant and be there for your child; no matter the cost.

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