Ridding Your Homepage Of Pesky Visitors: The Spoof Edition Have you been piously following almost every to do list' claiming that their lists will help you generate more traffic? Yes? Just a wild guess, your actions proved fruitless, right? Well, this is the usual scenario. But have you tried doing the opposite of what is enumerated in the list? Ever attempted to literally annoy your visitors and to actually get rid of them? No? Haven't you heard of reverse psychology?

*Fit Everything In A Teeny Weeny Frame

All content must be crammed in a really, really small frame. Let your viewers experience how it is to have finger cramps as they scroll down in an attempt to browse the entirety of your webpage. And if you bombard both sides with blinking advertisements, then you will not just strain their fingers but their eyes as well-a perfect combo to blast visitors off their tracks.
Exercise Your Right to Disable
In here, we are not only talking about highlight options or photo grabbing preferences, we are referring to the big right-click. Yes, disabling right click. Do not mind the commands that can be easily accessed by pressing the right button of the mouse. Your visitors can still use the menu bar, right?

*Play That Funky Music White Boy

A background music that incessantly plays over and over again will trigger the nerve of almost every viewer. But if you want it to be effective, you may opt to turn up the inherent volume a little bit or you can simply choose not put a proper option to kill the music.

*Every Click = New Window

If the three suggestions above have yet to discourage anyone from browsing your webpage, then why not lead them away from your site. Formulate your coding (target="_blank") so as to open a new window every time one clicks on a link. So window after window after window, the persistent visitor will be lost, not to mention submerged, in all of these for-sided menace. Tadah! Persistent visitor no more! Flash Everywhere, Flash Everything

In here, you are at the position to really tick off visitors as well as drop your page ranking. Place the content of your site (texts, graphics, the whole shebang) in a Flash file. And while you are at it, remember not place a Flash download link in your webpage so that if a visitor does not have the required program installed, then the unfortunate will be forced to look at a whole bunch of nothing.

*Pop-Ups Are Your Friends

In your endeavor, ad pop-ups is not an enemy, this can be your secret weapon. You can use this strategy when one reaches or leaves your website. But why stop there? Why not code your website so that every click will trigger the exposition of a pop-up window? It does not really matter if it is an ad or a page in your website. So long as it is a pop-up, it is all good annoyingly good.

*Real Men Do Not Ask For Directions

Takeaway the navigation bar, the site maps, the shortcut links, and the like. Let them wander in the black hole that is your website. Or if you feel sorry for them, you can place a next button' at the very end of an epically long content or write-up.

*Start The Process

You have read the to do list' and you have followed their advice, but you have yet to generate enough traffic. Now, if reverse psychology really works, then you might just be on your way to be a webmaster wonder. However, if this does not work, blame the scientists.

Learn more about this author, Sheryll Cross.
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