by AngelaCharles

Created on: November 04, 2008   Last Updated: November 20, 2008

Talking to your preteen about sex is no easy task. It may be uncomfortable for you and for your child, but if you want to make sure that your they are making wise choices when it comes to sex, it is essential that you start these conversations at an early age. As they grow older, teens tend to become more withdrawn and less likely to share what they are feeling. Starting healthy conversations at a young age will make it easier as your child becomes a teenager.

It is hard deciding what information to share and at what age, but with commercials being so sexually suggestive, your preteen is already well in tune to their sexuality. With that in mind, it is imperative that you give your preteen a clear message regarding sex. Boys & girls experiment with sex for different reasons. Understanding those reasons is vital in helping your child resist the temptations of having sex.

Typically girls are looking for love. Especially young girls who are missing a father figure in their life. They use sex as a tool to get boys attention, with the hopes of keeping it. In my experience working with teens, I have seen countless cases of teenage girls who are pregnant, miscarry and within months are pregnant again. Whether it is their desire to be a mother or their desire to get a commitment from their boyfriend, your daughter needs to understand sex isn't a game. Setting an example in your household of healthy relationships will help, along with teaching your daughter to respect herself.

Boys are responding to numerous hormones, along with the desire to fit in with their peers. Young boys who let there hormones make their choices, don't realize the implications for them. Sex, love, and infatuation are all serious emotions for girls and boys and if your son learns to respect these emotions it will give him the tools to resist his hormones. With today's advertisements selling women as sex symbols, young boys need to learn to value women for more than a pretty face. Talk to them about seeing beyond a picture. Young boys need to understand that what they are feeling is completely normal, but also that they are in control of it.

In addition to communicating with your preteen, work on developing positive assets in your child. Are they confident, compassionate, and accepting? Having these assets will give your child the strength to make healthy life choices. A great tool to assist your child in making healthy life choices is a book by Sean Convey, The 7 Habits of Highly Successful Teens. Teenagers so often feel misunderstood and alone. This book validates much of how they are feeling and gives them some techniques to make positive life choices. Read the book before your preteen and then talk to them about topics you found very informative. Providing your child with the tools necessary to develop positive assets will insure that your child makes healthy choices, not just about sex, but about all of the issues that face our youth today.

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