by Margaret Telsch-Williams

Created on: November 04, 2008

Considering that most couples fight over (and divorce) because of money, there are three things you need in order to have a happy and argument free marriage when it comes to bills, savings, spending, and income. Aside from communication, honesty, and trust, which are essential for marriage as a whole, the way you manage your money as a couple can determine how your marriage survives. What are the three things? Your account, your spouse's account, and the joint account.

The importance of this cannot be stressed enough. As a couple, sit down and determine your income, bills, and how much you need to pay each month. I'm not a fan of splitting the bills down the middle because in reality most marriages aren't based on both parties making the same amount of money. Someone is always the one that earns less, so they should not and cannot be responsible for paying the same amount as the high earner. This level of financial equality works well when chipping in for pizza at the office, but this is your marriage and sometimes equal is not the name of the game, but fairness is.

You can work your accounts in one of two ways. The first follows the idea that each person gets the same amount of money in their individual account (be it $30 or $100). This dollar amount is determined by the total of all your bills and what income is remaining for spending money divided in half. This works particularly well when one person, for whatever reason, is not currently working. All the remaining money goes in the joint account for bills. How each chooses to spend their money is up to them, if they don't spend all of it, it's theirs to save. It's a no questions asked account where you buy or don't buy whatever you want without having to ask/discuss it first. Meanwhile in the bill account, the bills are paid and any remaining money is saved for other expenses that pop up or are not due on a monthly basis.

The second option is to determine a fair amount for each to contribute based on their income. If Bob makes $1000/month and Sally makes $2000/month, then she should contribute twice as much because she makes twice as much. Remember, it's not about equal, its about fair. This is a marriage where both parties contribute what they can. In this situation, it doesn't mean that Sally is "punished" for making more, it means that she loves Bob and contributes a percentage equivalent to Bob's percentage based on his income. So, their bills total $1500/month. Bob will throw in $500, and Sally gives $1000 to the joint account. Bob has $500 left and Sally has $1000. See the fairness now?

The key to making it work is keeping the best interest of your partner in mind before you worry about yourself. Keep the lines of communication open as much as possible and what used to be, or could become, arguments, should turn into discussions about your finances. If both parties are willing to think of the marriage from a "we" standpoint, before they think from a "me" standpoint, there will always be options to solve financial dilemmas where both people walk away satisfied with the conclusion.

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