by Anna Suranyi

Created on: November 04, 2008   Last Updated: November 18, 2008

The expression, "catchy tune" did not materialize in the English language, it found its place because there is truth to it and while it may conjure up thoughts of songs, like "How Much is that Doggy in the Window" or jingles like "I am stuck on Band-Aid brand cause Band-Aid stuck on me," we all know that the catchiest of tunes may not be so sweet and innocent in lyrical content. I'm not referring to the sinister, subliminal messages that some have "found" in music. It's those catchy tunes that may catch us unaware.

One day, as I walked up and down the aisles of WalMart with my teenage daughters, we heard a small, sweet voice singing, "I kissed a girl and I liked it..." We turned the corner and there in a cart sat an adorable girl of about three, joyfully singing away, her mother oblivious to the lyrics her toddler was singing. Now certainly the child was innocently singing with no thought to the words, but this catchy tune had placed itself firmly in her mind; what goes in must come out. As I had told my children over the years, "Garbage in, Garbage out." While we, as free citizens, like to pride ourselves on our control and choice, the reality is that we must control the floodgate of information. The choice at the point of entry has been carelessly left behind. Instead this freedom has come to mean, "I am free to expose myself to anything, without consequence." We live in a world where we are bombarded with information: songs, jingles and advertisements. Without taking control at the entrance point (our minds) we leave ourselves open to being desensitized. As we left WalMart that day we continued a discussion of music and its impact on behaviors and mindsets. The conversation is ongoing, with an active debate that is hopefully sparking questions in my children's minds.

It seemed so much easier when they were small children and even young teens, however as teens grow independent-driving, working, buying their own music, and spending more time outside of the family unit, the ability to control choices in music becomes impossible. At some point control is handed over to the older teen. It is not a seamless transition in many cases, the fabric of choice is often torn and tattered by a teen seeking their freedom, their right to choose and their independence. It is time to trust that the lessons taught and the example set are a driving force in your teen's life and choices. Beyond that, the only remaining control for the parent is what they will personally purchase and allow to be played in the home. If this is handled well by the parent, it plants seeds for future growth in the teenager, not rebellion.

Ultimately, as parents, we want our children to have thinking minds that lead our teens to make good choices, when they are theirs to make. If we shield them when very young and build a relationship that is open and respectful, we can look forward to intelligent debate and thoughtful conversations about issues such as music. Taking a stand for what we believe can be done in such a way that our ideas and opinions are respected and regarded. That is the most powerful and rewarding control a parent can have in their teen's life.

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