by Melissa Nykorchuk

Created on: November 04, 2008   Last Updated: January 02, 2010

Parenting takes hard work and dedication. There is a balance to be found between being an authority figure and the parent they run to when they get hurt. Knowing how to manage your child's behavior, before it gets out of control will help you have fewer, less frequent emotional outbursts from your child and allow you and your child to have a loving, respectful relationship. The following tips will help any new parent set a framework for behavior expectations that you want your children to live by.

1. It is alright to say no.

You have a child that always wants a prize when you go to the store. You say no, and your child begins to pout. The bottom lip begins to quiver and you know that you are in for one of the biggest temper tantrums your child can produce. To avoid this tantrum in public, you give in and buy whatever item it was they wanted. You are now on your way to creating a monster.

Instead of caving in, tell your child that the answer is still no. Even when they begin to cry, remember that most parents have faced this exact crisis in the middle of a store. Stick to your convictions. If your child becomes too loud and you are embarrassed, leave the store. This will not be the first time a child who is kicking and screaming has been seen being carried out of a store. Say no and mean it.

2. Do not let your child tell you what to do.

On the surface, this advice is simplistic. Of course you would not let your child tell you what to do, but many parents allow their child to dictate orders without even realizing it. For example, you have settled your child down to eat dinner. Your spouse is eating and you sit in the chair across the table. Your child looks up and says, "No, Mommy, sit next to me!" You find this request endearing and you and your spouse switch places mid-meal to satisfy your child. This may seem harmless, and many times it is, but when you consistently give in to your child's requests you are giving your little monster a crown.

3. Be clear in your expectations. Repeat.

One of the worst ways to travel in the car is to have a child screaming the whole trip. Before leaving the house, talk to your child about what behavior you expect in the car. If they have siblings an example would be: "no touching, no fighting, no pointing, no arguing, share, no whining". Every time you get into the car remind your child of the car rules. Stay in your seat. Do not unbuckle the seatbelt. No throwing toys. No screaming. If your child does not follow these rules while in the car, give a consequence such as a time out as soon as you can. Pull over if necessary and take away the toy that they have, giving them a time out in the car. Whatever your car expectations are, be clear and repeat the expectations often. The more consistent you are, the more likely it is your child will follow the rules.

As a parent, remember that it is you, not your child that needs to be in control. By setting clear expectations, being consistent, and not allowing your child to have whatever they want, you are laying a good framework for your child. Your child will learn that there are consequences to their actions, that sometimes you can't always have what you want, and mom and dad will follow through with what they say.

Learn more about this author, Melissa Nykorchuk.
Click here to send this author comments or questions.