by Brigid Bishop

Created on: November 04, 2008

Red Flags in a Relationship

Red flags in a relationship are dependent upon the length of said relationship, are we talking of a new prospective partner, a steady partner, a significant other or a spouse?

Red flags tend to jump out at us very quickly, the best time to be attentive to these red flags is when they first appear waving in our faces, not after we have walked down the aisle, so let's examine some very big and bright "red flags".

Communication. If the person you are interested in does not maintain a balanced level of communication with you please pay attention to this flag. This works both ways, both a lack of communication or a bombardment of communication are red flags.

Lapses and inconsistencies in communication indicate a lack of interest and a lack of focus. It is unlikely that the noncommunicative person has a serious intention of building a good relationship with you if there is little or no initiation of communication on their part. Move on.

Excessive communications are also a bright red flag. A person who finds a need to incessantly communicate with you, calling or texting multiple times in one day or overflowing your email inbox with seemingly innocuous messages indicate a very insecure and obsessive personality.

Balanced communication is key. When newly aquainted, a phone call or text once or twice a week is appropriate. Of course, over time, this communication should grow and become more frequent as you develop a bond.

Another huge bright red flag is how an individual describes past relationship experiences.

If every person they were with in the past is described as the devil incarnate, the red flag should be waving yet again!

People grow and change and there need not always be a "good" guy and a "bad" guy in a breakup. If your new friend seems to have had a series of bad partners, then your new friend is likely to have a set of personality problems that they should work on as it is not possible to be a perpetual victim.

You should also be wary of the person who, being of a mature age, has never had a serious relationship prior to meeting you. This does not mean that they were waiting for you to come into their life in order to finally make a commitment, it simply means that they are not commitment oriented individuals and you should be vigilant in paying attention to the communication balance in your relationship.

There are many, many red flags to be aware of, but these are the most significant and easiest to spot.

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