by Baraneh Quest

Created on: November 04, 2008   Last Updated: September 28, 2009

Memories can be a funny thing sometimes. They are at times fickle and fragmented while at other times they are so richly vivid that when we think about them, it can almost feel as though we are re-experiencing past moments in our history. In our memories lies the good and the bad. There is no choosing what we remember or what we forget. Sometimes the painful truths that lay within our memories impact our minds with such strength that we choose to either avoid thinking about such things completely or a part of ourselves that wants to survive decides to push our memories down into a deeply filed corner of our hearts and our minds. Sometimes forgetting is necessary to help us function and sometimes remembering is what needs to happen to free ourselves to function. When it comes to remembering, we can sway from negating parts of our past to over-living them. What I mean by over-living is that we can tell ourselves a story about who we are or what has happened to us, and we can repeat it so much that we forget all about the many other components within ourselves that are at play or that are available to us. We can forget about our strength, our perseverance, our values, and what makes us special or unique. For most of us, we have to practice at remembering what's good about our lives and what's positive about us. Although we cannot choose exactly where our mind wanders to, there is practice for what to do with what memories we are left with.

My daily work revolves around helping people remember and more importantly own their experiences. I listen to individuals talk about what they remember and sometimes of what they'd rather forget. I hear all kinds of stories. Stories that involve themes of triumph, shame, magic, sadness, judgment, empowerment, guilt, prejudice, love, ecstasy, spirituality, and grief among many, many other experiences. Weaved within these stories are losses and gains, distance and connection, and unspoken truths as well as chronic beliefs. I get to hear about people's experiences. I hear about the good in the bad and the bad in the good. I get to hear about what went through their minds during their experiences and I get to ask what it is like for them to recall what happened. I get to hear about the shift in emotions, the different feelings that erupt from time to time, the complex layers of being happy while being angry while wanting to run away while wanting to stay. I get to hear the humbling oxymorons, hypocrisy, irony, and humanity in all

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