by Sherri Garrett

Created on: November 03, 2008   Last Updated: November 08, 2008

Yes, there is life after sexual assault. I know, I am a survivor of sexual assault twice. Every time I was as low as anyone could get and with anger and determination I got right back up on my feet and said no I was not giving up. I was worth more as a human being than what this horrible act had done to me and to prove it I was going to help others survive it as well.

Helping others cope with it through many different means helps you with the healing process even though many therapists will tell you that reliving it will make you worse and not better. This is not true. I found through two therapists that they were providing me therapy according to what they had been taught by schooling-not what they had experienced. Us as sexual assault victums heal better venting and talking to others who have experienced the same thing we have been through. Find the comfort in a good friend or support group who will listen and not judge. At the same time to heal,find others through websites or local shelters who need to heal as well. You will be surprised on how well this helps. Write to your congress on better laws and harsher sentences. Make people listen. Don't be ashamed-you are not the only one out there and you didn't ask for it to happen.

The first time it happened to me-I conceived a child. I had docters, therapists, police officiers,among many others telling me that I shouldn't have the child that it would be a constant reminder of the trauma I suffered. So, what did I do, I gave birth to a beautiful baby boy,gave him my maiden name as his last name and petitioned the courts for full custody with no parental rights ever and a huge amount of child support to haunt him for the rest of his life. I won and he had a horrible public record with a lonely life.

The second time came a couple of years ago with domestic violence involved. Because its been still so soon-I have flashbacks and anxiety issues once in awhile but they are getting less frequent. I'm not saying that they will completely go away-some you will have for the rest of your life but you will learn to live with them as a handicap person does with their disabilities.

The worst for me was to trust to have a sexual relationship with someone. This was a very slow process and if they couldn't accept it then I really didn't want to have a relationship with them anyway. Have faith-the words are true-time will heal. And no matter who tells you how to do what to get there-teach yourself the best way to cope and heal yourself. You will be a bigger better person for it. You never have to accept or forget what has happened but you can help others through the path of healing in turn helping yourself.

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