by Elizabeth Fulks

Created on: November 03, 2008

Fear. That summed it up, all in one perfect word. I trembled as my husband finished his phone conversation, lovingly expressing his gratitude to his mother. They had invited us for dinner and once again I could forsee the future of a long and eventful night of fighting, nagging and name calling. Jonathan looked at me with hopefilled eyes. I didn't have the heart to break it to him that his parents were going to be the same as always.

"Mom sounds good!" He stated, a smile on his cherub face. "She invited us for dinner tomorrow."

"I know." I said flatly, trying to not be so uncharasmatic. "That was nice of her. Will the entire family be there?" Jonathan nodded and turned back to watching his favorite show on television. Unaware of the fumes that were emulating underneath my cool skin. Already I began borrowing trouble. Imagining the worst possible situations. Mary, Jonathan's mother nagging her husband endlessly on the jobs he wasn't doing around the house. David, the father, ignoring her as he lifts his fork for another piece of overcooked dried ham. They weren't even the worst. Mickey, Jon's sister, staring at her new boyfriend as his whole face contorts from trying to pull out one of his infected piercings on his lip. Oh this was going to be disasterous.

As we went to bed that night, I knew the nightmares were going to continue. My amazingly accurate imagination was going to spin dreadful webs of different conclusions. Occasionally, my husband let out a loud snore, still unaware of my increasing anxiety. Negativity filled the room as I scoffed, rolled and sighed trying to get through this long night and shut my eyes for the desired sleep my tired eyes were longing for.

The sun came as a pleasant warming sensation across my tired face. I awoke, realizing I had dreamt of nothing but Mickey's crazy puss filled piercing boyfriend. Dear God what was this dreaded day coming too? My husband nodded a good morning and rolled off the bed to head quickly to the bathroom. I wondered quietly if he was actually adopted. He was so different than his family and yet so amazingly not with my feelings regarding the whole situation.

The day went perfect, gardening and spending outdoor time with my perfectly sweet husband. I was avoiding looking at the clock, knowing that doomsday was closer than ever. I quickly dressed in my best outfit, always wanting to please his horendously picky mother. Jon dressed in his blue jean shorts and hawaiian t-shirt. He whistled at me as I walked by, acknowleding my need to look perfect. I thanked him for that.

The drive was quiet and seemed endless, I stared out the window hoping for anything to happen to avoid this horrible dinner. I knew it wouldn't come and dinner was iminent. When we arrived I walked slowly up the walk and knocked on the door. To my surprise his mother answered the door. Her face, a cherub round like Jon's. She looked at me with love in her eyes and hugged me. David was sitting on the couch smoking his pipe, his dark hair fading to a silverish grey. He nodded at me and smiled, patting the seat next to him. In my head I continued to panic. Why did they have to be so nice, what did they want from me?

Mickey descended the stairs with her boyfriend in hand. His blonde curls were beautiful and his face flawless. I tsked as she took a seat next to me. These terrible people, always so nice. They hugged Jon, knowing to stay their distance from me. Ahead of me lay a mirror, I stared briefly in it noticing my beauty and the family's ugliness. The one thing I have never known, love and compassion, they were it and too me that was the two things I continued to fear.

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