by E K Stapleton

Created on: November 02, 2008

How do you start to address a subject like avoiding being grounded or suspended? Of course the obvious answer is to do as you're told, respect authority and follow the rules, but we're talking about teenagers here, and this is easier said than done. An age has been reached when you're too old to be viewed as a child, yet not granted the privileges of an adult. For the time being you are stuck in adolescent limbo, so you may as well make the best of it. These years are supposed to be memorable, and you'll have a lot more fun if they're spent beyond the confines of your bedroom.

Although us adults may not always give you credit due for being responsible, prove it to us. Take responsibility for what needs to be done, and ensure it gets done. When you have a curfew, respect it and be on time. When work is assigned at school, get it done. Complete your chores without being reminded seven times. You get the idea. When you prove yourself to be generally responsible, when you do slip up and arrive home late, we adults aren't as likely to impose corporal punishment for this minor infraction. You'll likely get off with a warning. On the other hand, if you habitually show your irresponsibility, you're bound to end up serving the most harsh sentence, in your room or the office.

Rules set by your parents and teachers might not always seem fair or reasonable, but it's all a part of life. Opening up your big, fresh mouth and flying into a tangent about how unjust it is, will only land you in a pot of hot water. If you'd like to enter into negotiations, do so in a calm and mature manner, without all the dramatics. Most adults will listen to your point of view, as long as you go about it in a respectful fashion.Vehemently objecting, and stomping your feet like a spoiled child will get you treated like one. Mouthing off will get you a one way ticket to your room, or an extended vacation from school.

Keep an open line of communication. When you keep yourself shrouded in secrecy, and we don't know what's going on, we have a tendency to imagine the worst. Talk to us and let us know what's going on. If there's a misunderstanding, explain your side of things and see if a resolution can be reached. Adults aren't horrible ogres just waiting for the chance to punish you, but if you don't communicate, we have to do what we feel is best.

Remember, us adults were teenagers once. We know all about temptation and peer pressure, and whether you believe it or not, we do understand. We don't enjoy punishing you any more than you enjoy being punished, so do your best to avoid it all together. In the case of being suspended, I speak from personal experience when I say it's usually a double whammy. When you arrive home after being suspended, you can bet there will be a grounding to accompany it.

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