by sjlg

Created on: November 02, 2008   Last Updated: February 19, 2011

Should ex-lovers be friends?

Well should a worker return back to a job they quit or got fired from?

Personally I believe it's the same concept. I understand that some people are better of as friends than lovers but then again shouldn't your lover be your friend also? When you end a relationship you are ending all aspects of what you developed while together. For instance if you buy a car and decide it isn't working right for you, you wouldn't return the car but keep two of the wheels would you?

I am not trying to compare a human being to a car, although I do believe the concept relates to the ending of a relationship....in one sense. I believe in the saying 'all or nothing' the past is the past so why bring it into your future...?

Although, some people do decide to break up and remain friends but I guess that depends on the way the relationships ended and why it ended. 

For example: If he/she cheated would you really want to be friends with someone who cheated on you? Regardless of any situation a true friend wouldn't cheat on a friend so why would you want to be friends with a cheater?

Relationships end for all different reasons and they start for all different reasons too. No situation is exactly the same to anyone else's so I am not in the position to say ALL ex-lovers shouldn't be friends. Although, I do believe it should be deeply thought about because it could make it harder for you to move on. But then again I guess that will all depend on the intensity of the relationship you had together.

I would say, choose your friends wisely not based on what you have been through together but also where you are going. Some people are only mean't to be in our lives for a season and a reason. Once a particular season is over we sometimes need new prospectives on what's ahead rather than look back on what's behind us.

If you only loved your lover because they were your lover there is no real need for you to be friends in my opinion. But if you loved your lover because they were your friends and you truly believe they are someone you 'can't' live without then by all means see how a friendship without the loving goes. But I always wonder how do you separate love from friendship? because you usually love your friends so to an extent you will be re living your relationship from a different angle....

And if you meet someone else and they become your best friend and lover where does your ex-lover stand? you may call them a friend but your new lover may not appreciate you being close with your ex. BUT then again that all depends on how close friends you are...and if you're not that close then why would you class them as a friend? It really interests me how people have different definitions for the term friendship. But over all I would say just be wise in making those decisions and always keep your future in mind and where you want to be. Its your choice and YOUR situation. So there is no right or wrong answer. But I personally don't see the need with being friends with a past that will never make your future.

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