by Leann Zotis

Created on: November 02, 2008   Last Updated: September 16, 2010

No man (or woman) is an island.  We exist on this planet surrounded by a vast and varied assortment of folks, some of whom are our friends; others little more than a thorn in our side.  These people come in an assortment of personality types as well.  Perhaps not surprisingly, even people we value in our lives can provide both positive and negative influence when they are around us.

We all have support systems in the world around us. These people can be friends, family, neighbors or co-workers. There's no escaping them on one level or another. A strong, positive support system can encourage us to shoot for the stars and achieve all of our most hoped for dreams. A good support system can lift us up when we are down and inspire us to achieve goals higher than we ever thought possible ourselves. A good support system is the foundation of a healthy and positive attitude in life.

But what if there are cracks in that support system? How do you work around the negative people than may populate your otherwise sturdy support system? One thing is for sure, you can't just ignore them and pretend they don't exist. In sly, insidious ways they can snake their way through the very fiber of your being. With innocent enough remarks they can plant the seeds of doubt in the garden of all your hopes and dreams. Left unchecked, the negative, "the cup's half empty" type of person can easily achieve their goal of reducing you down to their level of mediocrity.

It's important to be able to recognize these people for what they are and stop them dead in their tracks. Never let a doubtful, negative comment go unchecked when these people are around. Always question, "What did you mean by that?" or "Why do you feel that way?" or "Can't you look at the positive side of this situation?" whenever they throw out one of their remarks meant to diminish your plans or your spirit. Always let them know that you are on to their game and will not let their put-downs hit their mark with you.

You probably can't do a lot to change this personality type in the people around you. And, actually, that's okay as long as you know what you're working with. Having a negative person around can be just the push you need to develop an "I'll show them" attitude that can propel you on to greater achievements. There is a cliche something to the effect of "The best revenge is a life well lived." If you can show the negative person that your achievements surpassed all of their dire threats of failure and warnings of impending doom, you will have won two victories; one, by achieving your goals, and two, by emerging above their negative nature.

In the end, the person who must remain the most positive in your life is you. Work to develop enough strength of character to rise above any negative proclamations no matter how true they may sometimes seem to be. To the best of your ability, surround yourself with like-minded people who share your passions and your dreams and want only the best possible outcome for your life. If you can do that, the negative people that pop up like weeds in the garden of your life will be much less significant.

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