Young people today need to be prepared for the challenges that life will throw at them. Sex is one of these challenges. No matter how much we might wish to do so it is a mistake to overprotect our children as in doing so we fail to equip them for adult life.
Teenage pregnancies and incidences of sexually transmitted infections continue to increase. Investigation reveals that this is due to a lack of knowledge or an unwillingness to pay proper attention to the threats to health that promiscuity can bring. At what age then should parents begin to talk to their offspring about the birds and the bees? The answer to this question has to be before a child reaches their teens.
Just last week I was chatting with a friend about her young children and she asked my opinion about a letter her seven year old son had brought home from school offering Sex and Relationship Education to his year group. Like many other parents her first reaction was that he is too young and he does need to know about this yet. However, after pointing out some of the positive reasons why her son may benefit from these lessons she said she had completely changed her thoughts on the subject. Coincidentally, our conversation happened on the same day that the British press were carrying a story about the same subject Sex and Relationship Education in primary schools. Having been responsible for Personal, Social and Health Education at the schools in which I have taught I do feel informed enough to make a contribution to this debate.
Young people have a right to make informed choices from an early age. From about the age of seven or eight children's curiosity to understand the world in which they live gathers pace. Also, at this time, they may welcome new additions to their family and question where these babies come from. Answering their questions in a way that they understand is not always easy but children deserve to have their integrity respected and receive sensible answers. However, finding the right way to talk to pre-teens about sex is not always easy.
Sex and Relationships Education should take place both at home and at school. At first young people should be encouraged to extend their vocabulary appropriately. Some families have euphemisms for body parts but this language may not be widely shared with others in a classroom situation. Therefore, a good starting point is for young children to develop an understanding of the correct terminology for bodily parts in general. Discussion can be undertaken about the main differences between males and females and this can also be an opportunity to inform children that other people of any age do not have the right to touch their bodies or force them to do anything against their will improperly, encouraging them to speak up if they feel threatened in any way.
As children grow older they are more able to understand the developments that occur with puberty. This phase in life can begin before the age of eleven years so it is important that young people learn about aspects of Sex and Relationship Education before they leave primary school such as the changes, both physical and emotional, that are likely to occur.
Schools in the UK are obliged to inform parents in advance of when Sex and Relationship Education is to be taught. Some schools may even involve parents in this aspect of the curriculum. Communication between the home and school is important and parents may seek guidance from schools about how to handle informing their children about what can be a sensitive subject, finding a starting point to discuss this subject.
Pre-teens need to learn about sex, whether at home, at school or, even better, from both. Parents can seek guidance from school if they wish to do so but, whatever happens, any taboos that continue to exist need to be challenged and broken down so that young people feel able to ask questions and become well informed about a subject which ultimately can have long term effects for the rest of life.