by Walter M Dohrom

Created on: November 01, 2008

~ Misery...

Sitting in the darkness, floating through what I call reality, I realize just how alone, alone can feel. Not more than one phone call away is my redemption, but I lost my phone because it got in the way.

A constant tune running through my mind like a freight train that speaks of darker, sad times when the soul mattered most; I reach for another drink to numb the cold. A hollow shell of what I used to think was a man before me in the mirror, lets me down again to remind me to be humble in these times. Times of sadness such as this always reveal the truth I'm afraid of. They are dark times that give way to light tomorrow; and they serve to remind me how I long for the darkness once again.

When a smile from an angel can make your blues disappear, you long for it more. You feel what your mind is telling you to know as real, and you feel ashamed that you have no one to share that moment of sadness with. Your eyes burn because they won't close, and when they do the demons arise to haunt your being; haunt your mind some more.

You listen around you for meaning of it all; but when all you hear is silence, you learn the truth we are all alone sooner or later, we just don't realize it sometimes. Simple warmth of a cheek belonging to someone who understands you is all it takes to play lock and key to your misery.

But the clouds roll in and take over to shade you from it. They serve to remind you that we are alone, never understood or sought after just alone.

Eventually all angels lose flight, and all friends change from sight. The ugly masks that reveal themselves after it is too late to turn back to a simpler time - everyone losses sooner or later; & only the dark clouds remain to be seen from afar. This is my despair; this is my anguish.

I wish I could smile, but I know too much of the truth, and fear for what will become.

Loneliness can be virtuous evil that brings life to an otherwise stalled existence. Tomorrow lies ahead, but only to repeat today in its sham and drudgery.

I am a pond of mud under the sun, cracking beneath the heat of knowledge. Walked over, let down, and forgotten; I tell of myself. Control is ugly, and I am now in full control of my domain, because I realize how there isn't one to speak of. I am my own memory, and even I have already forgotten.

The pulse of energy throbs through me with every beat of my heart, and I know how broken I am. I am alone. I am in dark, and I am the light of mine own eye. Only by seeing such misery, can I appreciate such beauty.

The beauty of a smile, that never ends, even after you've gone. These are the wings from above which carry me through the dark waters. My sadness is because you are happy, and don't see the colours I speak of; you understand me even less, and it pains me to heal me.

Days are numbered for us all, and I fear these are my last. However many they may be, I know I am going out of darkness, into the light to see once again virtue and morality.

Never lost, only found on a different path I speak of my fight to you. Moments when you can smile from within are rare, and the chances are not as many as one would think;
perhaps that's why I am going to pour myself another drink

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