by Sadaf Farooqi

Created on: November 01, 2008

We all have been through experiences when we felt that someone close to us suddenly cooled off, and kept their distance from us after hearing of a positive development in our lives. It's natural for human beings to covet happiness, and usually they assume that happiness can only be attained by the acquisition of certain blessings at definitive points in their lives. If they don't get what they want, they feel sad; but watching someone else get it makes them feel even worse about their siutation. As a result, they start feeling jealous of that person. This can happen to people of all ages.

For example, a child in school would love to have a new bike. Consequently, when he or she sees another child with a brand new one, he feels jealous and covetous. Older children or teenagers crave good grades, popularity and good looks in their academic life; a pretty, smart and popular girl might attract the negative feelings of the nerdy and introvert plain-janes in her class.

These scenarios continue into adulthood and, quite literally, throughout our lives. We must learn to identify jealous behavior and then learn how to handle the negative feelings of jealousy.

Let's take a look at the tell-tale signs of jealousy:

- The silence or pause that follows your announcement of success. The sincere friend or relative will start gushing happiness as soon as you inform them of your pay-raise, promotion, engagement, pregnancy, or new home acquisition. The jealous person will, however, pause in silence, and mumble a half-hearted congratulations, as they try to digest the news. It's difficult for them to feel happy for you while being gripped by the flames of jealousy.

- The negative aura that surrounds you when in the jealous person's company. The jealous person exudes such a negative energy towards the person they are jealous of, that the latter can literally feel very uneasy and tense around them, akin to "being guilty until proven innocent". The warmth and friendliness are suddenly gone.

- Breaking off eye contact, or all kinds of contact, for some time. After hearing your good news, the jealous relative or friend will shift his/her eyes away from you, either by looking down or away during the conversation, and not contact you too much after that. You see, their jealuos feelings make it difficult for them to look at you or talk to you - it pains them too much, because you have something they don't have. By looking at you or talking to you, that fact gets rubbed in, so they break off

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