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Single parents: When to introduce your date to your kids

by Robin Landry

Created on: October 31, 2008   Last Updated: March 23, 2009

As a former single parent I know firsthand how many difficult questions can arise when raising a child alone. One of the more challenging can occur when a single parent decides to re-enter the dating world, "When is it ok to introduce my child to the person that I'm dating?"

Unfortunately, this is not a question that has a clear cut, one-size-fits all answer. And while there are some general guidelines, the final answer may depend upon a number of variables.

Always Think of Safety First

The primary factor to consider before bringing any new person into a child's life is safety. Whether the person is a romantic interest or just a friend, a parent's first responsibility is to invest enough time in getting to know the person well enough to determine whether this individual poses any sort of risk to the well being of the child. This might sound obvious but the statistics regarding child abuse by non-relatives is shocking. A fact sheet published by the Child Welfare Information Gateway in 2008 indicates that "approximately 15% of fatalities were the result of maltreatment by non-parent caregivers."

Although controversial, I think performing a Google search on any prospective partner before introducing him to your child is a basic step. Immediately ruling out anyone who pops up on a list of sex offenders is a "no brainer" for the single parent.

Parents should also give themselves the opportunity to observe their potential partner in a variety of settings and circumstances before introducing the person to their child. Does the person have children of his or her own? If so, what is the relationship like? How does he or she interact with his or her own children?

If he or she does not have children you may want to observe how he or she acts in situations with family members, co-workers and friends or even strangers. How much patience does this person have? Is he or she rude to restaurant servers and other service providers? Is he or she extremely impatient? Have you observed instances of "road rage" when riding with this person in heavy traffic?

Obviously, a person who is routinely impatient, rude or ill-tempered in stressful situations is probably not the best match for a single parent with children at home. And if you are unable to answer the questions above, then you simply do not know this person well enough to consider introducing them into your child's life.

Consider Your Child's Age and Background

As a parent you know your child better than anyone. Some children are naturally

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